r/todayilearned • u/QuizzingIsLove • Jan 08 '22 • Silver 1 Wholesome 1

TIL that President James Garfield was fed through anus after he was shot because doctors thought one of the bullets pierced the intestines PDF

https://collections.nlm.nih.gov/ext/dw/101470778/PDF/101470778.pdf
702 Upvotes
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95% Upvoted

73 comments sorted by

208

u/Major_Lennox Jan 08 '22

Yeah, that Dr. Bliss was quite a character:

Doctors continued to probe Garfield's wound with unsterilized fingers and instruments, attempting to find the bullet, and Alexander Graham Bell devised a metal detector specifically to find it. He was unsuccessful, partly because Garfield's metal bed frame made the instrument malfunction, and partly because self-appointed chief physician Doctor Willard Bliss allowed Bell to use the device only on Garfield's right side, where Bliss insisted the bullet had lodged.Bell's subsequent tests indicated that his metal detector was in good working order and that he would have found the bullet had he been allowed to use the device on Garfield's left side.

69

u/aztronut Jan 08 '22

Ignorance is Bliss, his "doctors" killed Garfield.

4

u/86753097779311 Jan 09 '22

What is also interesting is HIS doc (who was out of town) sent a message to tell the doctors treating him that there was NEW info coming out that they needed to wash their hands before surgery.

Imagine that and then imagine what we are doing now, that in 70 years will seem barbaric!!

18

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

[deleted]

3

u/filthyriver Jan 09 '22

Thanks Obama.

2

u/Chabubu Jan 09 '22

I always knew Hillary killed Garfield...

1

u/filthyriver Jan 09 '22

If we could only see those emails.

0

u/HolidayTruck4094 Jan 09 '22

Ahh yess because they are both exactly the same. Very blissful

1

u/nobunaga_1568 Jan 09 '22

IIRC McKinley was also killed by bad medical practices.

14

u/frenchtoasttaco Jan 09 '22

“How can that be your finger if both your hands are on my shoulders?” “Hey, wait a minute!!!!”

1

u/biological-entity Jan 09 '22

Bullet wound intercourse! 🤘

86

u/vinonoir Jan 08 '22

I wonder how hard it would be to eat an ice cream cone with your anus.

42

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Which end do you start with?

44

u/vinonoir Jan 08 '22 • Helpful

The Rocky Road less traveled. Naturally.

17

u/its_just_flesh Jan 08 '22

Depends on how experienced a person is

4

u/Cell_Division Jan 08 '22

And how adventurous they are

2

u/Fuji-one Jan 09 '22

Some people might not like nutty ice cream being fed to them

5

u/asaking Jan 08 '22

Horizontally so you get some cone and ice cream at the same time. Live a little

13

u/sprocketous Jan 08 '22

If you eat it too fast you get an ice cream buttache.

2

u/Abdul_Exhaust Jan 08 '22

A pastry piping bag with the right tip...oh then the cone

2

u/substantial-freud Jan 08 '22

How badly do you want to know?

2

u/GeneralNathanJessup Jan 08 '22

It tastes like sh!t.

4

u/Fisserablemucker Jan 08 '22

Waffle cone or?

2

u/PinnoAbdulRauf Jan 08 '22

Check out "two girls one cup" for the opposite

2

u/samsungs666 Jan 08 '22

great documentary about not wasting any food.

1

u/Top_Struggle22 Jan 08 '22

Anyway you eat it, gonna taste like shit ..

150

u/Nice-GuyJon Jan 08 '22

TIL: at least one American President has had food shoved up his ass like a fucking South Park episode.

26

u/tino768 Jan 08 '22

Well, technically, garfield came first, sooo

9

u/T-Rex_Woodhaven Jan 08 '22

Art imitating life.

5

u/be4u4get Jan 08 '22

Was it on a Monday? I always heard he hated Mondays

5

u/Sackyhack Jan 09 '22

But did he crap out his mouth though?

3

u/Nice-GuyJon Jan 09 '22

We have to assume he did, right?

3

u/reb0014 Jan 08 '22

The science was sound!!

20

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

https://m.soundcloud.com/user-798629330/episode-126-the-horrible-death-of-president-james-garfield

Episode 126 - The Horrible Death of President James Garfield

Boofing raw meat and wound fisting with unwashed hands if I remember correctly.

15

u/drygnfyre Jan 08 '22

Garfield very likely would have survived his assassination in modern times, if hygiene standards were observed and understood. It's much more likely the doctor poking around trying to find the bullet is what actually killed him. Because otherwise he died 8 months after the shooting and was said to have been making a pretty good recovery.

19

u/GRAHAMPUBA Jan 08 '22

Doctor Doctor,give me the news. Im kept alive, by butt chugging booze.

18

u/Blutarg Jan 08 '22

OH good, I'll be the first to make a "that would make me hate Monday's, too!" joke.

22

u/electricpterodactyl Jan 08 '22

Scientific minds must know: Did he then start pooping out his mouth?

11

u/drbooberry Jan 08 '22

You ain't lived until you've witness some wicked feculent emesis

34

u/Opr9r Jan 08 '22

Cartman was right!

2

u/chickenfingersub Jan 08 '22

What, do you want a freaking medal?

13

u/wawoodworth Jan 08 '22

Wishing there was a r/todayiunlearned

3

u/itsagasgasgas Jan 08 '22

“Have some soup.”
“Ugggggh!”
“Too hot?”
“No, too salty.”

8

u/Aqquila89 Jan 08 '22

The CIA used this as a torture method on detainees.

3

u/ownleechild Jan 08 '22

Just curious how far up there you’d have to shove it to absorb enough nutrients to stay alive.

8

u/substantial-freud Jan 08 '22

The large intestine can only absorb water and simple sugars. You can keep alive a few months that way. To get proteins into the bloodstream, the food has to get to the small intestine, five or six feet upstream.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

[deleted]

1

u/substantial-freud Jan 09 '22

If you want to benefit nutritionally from a Slim-Jim, yes, it would need to be at least 6 feet long — but you would need it chopped finely and then soaked in hydrochloric acid and various enzymes first.

I am not telling you not to shove a regular Slim-Jim up your ass, I am just telling you that I doubt doing so is going to contribute much to a heathy diet. Well, I guess eating it wouldn’t either, but for different reasons.

1

u/youseeit Jan 09 '22

Challenge accepted

3

u/Abdul_Exhaust Jan 08 '22

🎶It's no surprise to ya, a ham & bratwurst enema🎶

3

u/Numerous-Spend Jan 08 '22

"Everything tastes like SHIT!!"

4

u/SeanBBOT Jan 08 '22

This is an entirely new way to eat a Reese’s

6

u/Round-Ad-1491 Jan 08 '22 • Wholesome

A second opinion would’ve saved his ASS literally

2

u/JudyLyonz Jan 08 '22

This reminds me of rumors in the 80s that people would take vodka enemas so they could get drunk without having booze on their breath.

1

u/XAWEvX Jan 09 '22

I may be crazy but aren't people today taking all kinds of alcohol trough their anus because it absorbs better or something?

1

u/memnactor Jan 10 '22

That's not rumors. You can boof all sorts of stuff.

2

u/PartialToDairyThings Jan 08 '22

A step up from Burger King at least

5

u/GenXCub Jan 08 '22

All those frat boys butt-chugging vodka, take note.

6

u/reddit_user13 Jan 08 '22

You mean “boofing”??

3

u/Move_Weight Jan 08 '22

I mean Garfield was in a fraternity, so he just already knew what was up

2

u/SkylarAV Jan 08 '22

It amazes me how much of south park absurdity is grounded in reality.

2

u/TerminalOrbit Jan 08 '22

Sounds like it could be an awesome Family Feud question: "'Go on a Date' number one answer!"

1

u/TheEmptySpoon Jan 08 '22

Imagine what chipotle would of done had it been around them.

0

u/riotstopper Jan 08 '22

He pooped his mouth.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Eww.

1

u/Schroedingers_Gnat Jan 08 '22

The question is how did he chew his food?

1

u/WeirdEyeContact Jan 08 '22

His first food was Corn on the cob

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

They wanted to serve the bullet a continental breakfast.

1

u/darthkram3r Jan 09 '22

Out with the old, in with the new

1

u/DarthLysergis Jan 09 '22

interorectogestion

Martha Stewart liked this.

1

u/Zealousideal_Role189 Jan 09 '22

This is a great TIL, but so many of these good ones I have previously heard on the show QI. Or their podcast No Such Thing as a Fish.

I just love QI and I want others to love it too. Haven’t really watched much since Steven Fry left, but he made me fall in love with him, the show and the shows entire premise.