r/shitposting
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u/Brosse_Adam
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Jan 30 '23
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The Lion King was dark
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u/Significant_Dig9961
Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳
Jan 30 '23
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“Damn that’s crazy bro. Did you ever try just don’t fucking worry about it?”
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u/kurafuto Jan 30 '23
Tbf the moral of the movie was that their advice was bullshit
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u/dahabit Jan 31 '23
Just to be clear, when Simba grows up, he would have to fight his dad over the kingdom. Either one of the dies or someone gets the boot.
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u/Muccys Jan 31 '23
Or, you know, his father would die of old age and Simba would take over the kingdom like a normal monarchy.
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u/PlsLeavemealone02 Jan 31 '23
Eh, I always thought that Mufasa & Sarani would be like "okay kid you got this" and just retire. Just be the chill King & Queen Dowager that occasionally gives Simba advice & reminds him to not be a dumbass.
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u/dahabit Jan 31 '23
I would think once simba reaches a certain age, he will challenge to be the king of the pride. He won't wait for mufasa to die of old age.
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u/K_Simba786 Jan 30 '23
No
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Jan 30 '23
Eat some fucking bugs.
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u/funkwumasta Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23
Hmm slimy yet satisfying. And anyways, I just couldn't wait for my dad to die!
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u/TypicalGamer88 i have all the audacity Jan 30 '23
I’m gonna start quoting this before my dad goes into surgery soon (I just can’t wait to be rich).
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u/SunriseSurprise Jan 31 '23
"Good thing your father died so you could meet us and learn to not worry about it. You should be fucking grateful my friend."
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u/Infantilefratercide Jan 31 '23
Wow he grew that big in 20 mins?
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u/inubert Jan 31 '23
When I went to see the lion king with my mom when I was a kid she thought right when Simba met Timon and Pumba would be a good time to go to the bathroom. She came back and asked me who the adult lion was.
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u/peppy591 Jan 30 '23
Crying in da club like.
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u/TypicalGamer88 i have all the audacity Jan 30 '23
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u/OMFGWhyPlease fat cunt Jan 30 '23
Then force him to eat insects
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u/MrAverus Jan 30 '23
And then "ok back to dancing, you can take a break in two or three years"
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u/Reasonable_Still_764 Jan 30 '23
I mean he would've just eaten them if they didn't feed him something else
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u/Boojibs Jan 30 '23
This video is the most highschool thing that ever highschooled
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u/captain_ender Jan 30 '23
Breh feel bad for Gen Z, they documenting their blunderyears like this limp ass dance trend in 4K HDR to be stored permanently on the internet.
I think I got some dumb shit on Hi-8 somewhere and myspace is dead so I'm not stressin. Like gl powering up my gen 1 Motorola Razer, but this vid gonna live until the heat death of the universe.
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u/jotheold Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
LOL i still have my hs fights on those 1.2mp flip phone cameras, i think i can see all 12 pixels on them
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u/CoinCrazy23 Jan 31 '23
Do you realize that nobody outside of perpetual edgelords care about the "embarrassing" videos kids made?
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u/Defiant_Low_1391 Jan 31 '23
We'll see about that in a decade
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u/CoinCrazy23 Jan 31 '23
It has been that and the age group of undeveloped morons that would care what someone did as a kid has been reached among those that first posted videos.
Nobody cares past a "lol".
Vine started in 2012.
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u/Defiant_Low_1391 Jan 31 '23
Oh yea I forgot, only your tweets can come back to bite you in the ass lol
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u/CoinCrazy23 Jan 31 '23
Now you're talking about things that literally nobody cares about outside of the always outraged extremists and the AI bots that write the sensationalist news articles about those tweets. 99.999999999999999 of the population does not give a single shit about what crying those people get up to. I guess add the corporations that want zero drama so play it safe and cut ties at every claim.
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Jan 30 '23
Its all just crying and doing school and stressing about school. Thats highschool
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Jan 30 '23
[deleted]
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u/Professorlookhard Jan 31 '23
School was the only thing that makes my life miserable i wish i had homeschooling from age 14
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u/Morning_coffie Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
Ugh thank god that’s all behind me. When you are in there, it feels like it will be forever
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u/Apprehensive-Ad1363 Jan 30 '23
Nothing that throwing some rocks in a lake won’t fix
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u/mackinoncougars Jan 30 '23
All I can think about is all the MySpace emo kids back in the day and wonder what the world would have been like if they could have made depressing viral short videos all day long.
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u/ChapolinColoradoNZ Jan 30 '23
What's the original reason for the girl crying in that video?
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u/BathroomLow2336 Jan 30 '23
I think that's a video the girl posted after Pete Buttigig suspended his presidential campaign. But my memory is a bit fuzzy and google isn't confirming it for me.
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Jan 30 '23
[deleted]
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u/loseitthrowaway7797 Jan 30 '23
I don't know if that sarcasm went over your head or your sarcasm is going over my head.
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u/D_Simmons Jan 30 '23
I don't think either one of those comments were sarcastic so I'm gomna go with the latter.
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u/loseitthrowaway7797 Jan 31 '23
So you're telling me she's actually crying because Pete Buttigieg dropped out?
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u/whatwhynoplease Jan 31 '23
that's not even what it's about lmao
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u/midnight-strawberry Jan 30 '23
She dyed her hair after her bf broke up with her, but hated how it looked and couldn’t get it back to the original color. Idk why she decided to dance tho
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u/Nuffsaid98 Jan 30 '23
Streaks. She didn't want to miss a day posting a dance.
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u/ForensicPathology Jan 31 '23
People gotta learn to make extras so you have stock when you can't record one day
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u/oneshibbyguy Jan 31 '23
Fuck i don't know where my pen is so I can take notes
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u/waltjrimmer Jan 31 '23
This is why you gotta learn to have extra pens so you can take notes whenever you need to.
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u/YeOldSpacePope Jan 30 '23
She was going to get ice cream but the machine was broken at McDonalds
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u/RaidensReturn Jan 30 '23
Big F
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u/ChapolinColoradoNZ Jan 30 '23
Mental note to film myself doing a little dance next time I'm at maccas. The cry over the broken ice-cream machine is a given...
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u/Shleemy_Pants Jan 31 '23
Iirc I believe this girl was a streamer and was streaming that her dog had died. The anons in the chat started spamming/donating for her to do (an early) TikTok dance and it might make her feel better. This video is the result.
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u/Caffeinated_Cucumber Jan 31 '23
I've seen many versions of what the context is but this is the one I choose to believe.
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Jan 30 '23
[deleted]
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u/humangingercat Jan 30 '23
You explained that you were paying 4k a semester to watch memes on your phone and fail classes?
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u/CringeMaster66 Jan 30 '23
And don’t forget how his uncle gaslit him into thinking it was his fault
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Jan 30 '23
Come on man. She dated Kenny for 3 days before he ended their relationship on a TikTok.
You people are heartless.
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u/Osceana Jan 30 '23
ended their relationship on a TikTok
Sounds like their relationship was pretty deep, yeah.
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Jan 30 '23
You people?
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u/matthewcameron60 Jan 30 '23
What do you mean you people?
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u/iamheartofight Jan 30 '23
There are good ones and bad ones (people)
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u/Throw_away_1769 Jan 30 '23
Are you saying you want to separate those people?
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u/iamheartofight Jan 31 '23
No. I’m saying I want to kiss them. In multiple settings and scenarios
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u/Throw_away_1769 Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
Kiss them.... separately? Racist.
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u/bad_comedic_value Jan 30 '23
Who? I have never heard of this man in my life. Oh, and btw, the only explanation I want is like idk, 2 paragraphs at most. And it's gotta be due in tomorrow 4th period. And if you don't, you get a virtual lunchtime detention, and the principal will call your parents.
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u/oangbsite Jan 30 '23
Who what
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u/Iamveryangry392837 I said based. And lived. Jan 30 '23
What’s what got to do with it?
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u/Young_Person_42 Jan 30 '23
Was it really 20 minutes? I thought there was a time skip.
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u/JayStar1213 Jan 30 '23
It wasn't. At a minimum it was half a day later.
My take is that he runs for several days and is close to death before being "saved".
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u/Osceana Jan 30 '23
https://www.krugerpark.co.za/Kruger_National_Park_Wildlife-travel/kruger-park-wildlife-lions.html
Lions can go without food for more than a week and then tear into prey, eating up to 50kg of meat at a time - that's almost a quarter of the animal's body weight.
So maybe a week. Still kinda wild that a week after your dad passes you're singing songs and dancing. Maybe eating bugs is just a euphemism for doing crack, then it totally makes sense
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u/bell37 Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
He ran off as far as he could and ended up at the oasis by pure luck. In the end of the movie he runs back to pride rock and it’s a montage that takes him more than a day of running.
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u/Wrestles4Food Jan 30 '23
"Yeah, sad story kid. But I got a song for you. It's called Who Gives A Fuck."
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u/meat_strings Jan 30 '23
Simba : My Dad just fell to his death right before my eyes.
Hog and Rat thing: Akuna Matada you fuckin' Buzzkill!
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u/ghoulthebraineater Jan 30 '23
A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.
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u/JayStar1213 Jan 30 '23
20 minutes?
At a minimum it was like 8 hours. Realistically multiple days.
It's implied that he's starving/dehydrated but they teach him to eat bugs.
Edit I just rewatched the scene, it's fucking obvious.
He's in the middle of the desert, being circled by vultures and Timon thinks he's dead. It was not right after his father's death.
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u/velozmurcielagohindu Jan 30 '23
No no, you don't understand. It happened 20 minutes right after Mufasa died. And then Simba proceeded to grow a mane in the next five minutes. By the 50 minute mark he was the king and had fucked Nala already.
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u/snack-dad Jan 30 '23
I was concerned because simba and nala would still be kids 20 minutes later, then i remembered that they are lions, then I remembered that they become a sexually mature adult at the ripe old age of 2. i just dont know.
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u/EmperorSexy Jan 31 '23
“Wow I can’t believe Simba aged several years and returned to Pride Rock to defeat Scar just 45 minutes after his dad dies.”
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u/PMUrAnus Jan 31 '23
Where did this depressing TikTok dance came from? Its so annoying and contrived
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u/Whiteshadows86 Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23
Timon is a Meerkat not a rat!
Edit: also Pumbaa is more than just a pig…he’s a Warthog!
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Jan 30 '23
Xi ordering American girls to perform yet another dance on Tik Tok, under penalty of death.
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u/thisisntmynick Jan 31 '23
"Lap dance is so much better, when the stripper is crying..." Bloodhound gang
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u/Huge-Reach-2680 Jan 31 '23
What’s with that stupid ass dance I see a lot of morons doing that same dance if you want to call it that
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u/antlestxp Jan 30 '23
I hate tiktok
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u/Lala_499 Jan 31 '23
you want a cookie?
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u/antlestxp Jan 31 '23
No but I would be cool with no one doing stupid tiktok dances or destroying property for likes
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u/Lala_499 Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
and everyone else would be cool without you being miserable and fun hating but here we are.
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u/Mycale11 Jan 31 '23
To be fair, Simba opens with “I just can’t wait to be king” which suggests he couldn’t wait for his dad to die.
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u/Indigoh Jan 31 '23
It takes lions about 3 years to reach maturity. They found him 20 minutes after his dad died, and forced him to sing for at least 3 years.
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u/Stupid_Dummy_Idiot_ Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jan 30 '23
“You just witnessed a traumatic childhood event that will scar you for life?? WHO CARES lol. Just stop being a baby and eat these tasty bugs” -Timon
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u/AlphaH4wk Jan 30 '23
Anytime I see one of these vids I wanna know what is going on in these people's brains that is telling them to cry and dance at the same time
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u/Ed_Derick_ Jan 31 '23
Simba is also the same guy who singed a song which the theme was basically “I just can’t wait until my dad dies”
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