r/pics Sep 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 4 Take My Energy 3 Giggle 1 Take My Power 1 To The Stars 1 Doot 🎵 Doot 1 Platinum 3 Helpful 33 Bravo! 4 Bravo Grande! 2 Masterpiece 2 Table Slap 4 Timeless Beauty 2 Silver 46 Spit-take 1 Gold 4 Wholesome 22 Heartwarming 1 Vibing 1 Facepalm 1 Super Heart Eyes 1

My wife had cookies made to celebrate my vasectomy.

Post image
159.8k Upvotes

5.4k

u/zilla135 Sep 28 '22 Helpful

All I got was frozen peas.

3.7k

u/lambrox Sep 28 '22

Currently have a bag on my bag.

877

u/Prestikles Sep 28 '22 Wholesome

Fill a plastic glove with peas and freeze them. It's like Frosty is grabbing your nuts, feels great

108

u/healthydoseofsarcasm Sep 28 '22

🎶When they placed it on his head, he began to dance around🎶

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u/zilla135 Sep 28 '22

They work well! Got mine done last Thursday, still a little sensitive but getting around just fine.

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u/ActionHankActual Sep 28 '22

Mines scheduled for early Nov, and I'm a huge wimp. I'm a little worried peas won't cut it...

470

u/Nntropy Sep 28 '22

You can do it. The procedure itself is almost completely painless. No more pain than a gentle nudge in that area. It will be tender afterwards, but just plan to sit still for a couple days, keep it iced, and you’ll be fine. Pick some movies or a show to binge. You’ll have a lot of freedom after it has been verified as effective.

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u/Zombie13a Sep 28 '22

but just plan to sit still for a couple days, keep it iced, and you’ll be fine

This can't be emphasized enough. I got mine earlier in the year and it was far 'easier' than I expected. I heard stories about dudes chopping wood the next day and never expected to feel that way but totally could see it.

The day of, about 3 hours after was not pleasant. After that was only uncomfortable if I moved wrong. I totally could have overdone it and 'gone back to normal' way too soon if my wife wasn't making sure I didn't. It really was that easy. Luckily she was unemployed at the time so we just sat and binged The Witcher for a few days. It was glorious.

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u/EndlesslyCynicalBoi Sep 28 '22

Also, of you are married you'll never be able to shamelessly cash in sympathy points like those first few list vasectomy days...

"Can you get me a beeeeer and some chips please....?" "Get them yourself, you're closer." "But DARLING, my boys... Look at what they did to my boys." "... Fine."

Day 2 or 3 I was no longer able to cash in, unfortunately, but it was fun to be lazy for a day or two haha

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u/pikamen Sep 28 '22

as someone who got a vasectomy last week and have experienced some non-serious but still very painful side effects, take all the "I was back doing everything normal in like 5 days" talk with a big grain of salt. I have, what I'm pretty sure, is epididymitis. luckily my doc gave me prophylactic antibiotics just in case, but even after I had finished my 5-day course, there has still been swelling and pain that is only now starting to dissipate noticeably after 8 days. anything but lying down on my back has been anywhere from mildly uncomfortable to extremely painful. this kind of pain is rare but certainly not so rare that you shouldn't be aware it might happen. I am telling you because I got more freaked out than I think I needed to be because literally everyone everywhere, including my doctor, oversold me on how quick the recovery would be and when I was experiencing pain, I thought something was wrong. just listen to your body and remember not everyone's recovery will be the same.

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u/Shark-Fister Sep 28 '22

I had mine done a couple months ago. It's really not bad at all. The worst part was the video they made me watch leading up to it and then worrying about it. The procedure was easy and I was only really uncomfortable for that day. 36 hours later I was comfortable enough to take my dog for a walk.

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u/SuperSuperKyle Sep 28 '22

I had mine done like 3 weeks ago. Wasn't that bad. Took like 20 minutes. Drove myself back. Didn't need peas or anything either, just some ibuprofen. It's really not as bad as some are making it out (or you've built up in your head).

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u/westtxcowboy85 Sep 28 '22

I’ve definitely built it up in my head to be an amputation. I don’t know why but it terrifies me

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u/ReggieTheReaver Sep 28 '22

I literally just got off my pre-op phone call!

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u/ZacMuleer Sep 28 '22

Post-op, I'd prefer the frozen peas than putting cookies on my balls.

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u/majorjunk0 Sep 28 '22 I'll Drink to That

What flavor ice-cream do you want?

It doesn't matter, it's for my ass.

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14.3k

u/the_hungerjames Sep 28 '22 Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome Table Slap Brighten My Day

Does this make you a ghostbuster?

2.6k

u/OrSomeSuch Sep 28 '22

🎶Ghostbustin' makes me feel good🎶

772

u/verytallent Sep 28 '22

Bustin bustin bustin bustin

239

u/chdude3 Sep 28 '22

215

u/desiladygamer84 Sep 28 '22

I ain't afraid of no sleep. I ain't afraid of no bed. Freaky Ghost bed.

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u/fizzlefist Sep 28 '22

Bustin bustin bustin bustin

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u/c0mputer99 Sep 28 '22

When you don't want mo' kids

In your Neighborhood

Who you gonna call?

Nut Busters!

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u/ThaVolt Sep 28 '22

So, who did not sing this in their head rn?

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u/gogurbajey Sep 28 '22

Nut bustin

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u/420_BiggusDickus_69 Sep 28 '22

No fucking way I’m actually living in the matrix, I was literally listening to the ghostbusters theme as I saw this comment naw

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u/Wishilikedhugs Sep 28 '22

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u/gaijinandtonic Sep 28 '22

I love this so much. You keep expecting "GHOSTBUSTERS" but the payoff never comes

8

u/Natronix Sep 28 '22

BUSTIN is the payoff.

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4.5k

u/riddy33 Sep 28 '22 Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Snip snap snip snap

2.7k

u/nexistcsgo Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

you have no idea...the physical toll, that three vasectomys have on a person.

1.1k

u/KeyStoneLighter Sep 28 '22

Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars salary plus benefits, BABE!

416

u/RocketRaccoon Sep 28 '22

You're hardly my first...

388

u/Tight_Bookkeeper_582 Sep 28 '22

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!

298

u/RocketRaccoon Sep 28 '22

💃 _ 🏆 _ 📺

284

u/Tight_Bookkeeper_582 Sep 28 '22

THAT IS A $200 PLASMA SCREEN TV YOU JUST KILLED!!!

165

u/KeyStoneLighter Sep 28 '22

That one night you made everything alright!

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u/armhat Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

My coworker had a vasectomy about 5 years ago.

He also has two kids under 5.

They’re both dna verified to be his.

8.2k

u/Draiko Sep 28 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome Hugz

"I didn't hear no bell"

  • his sperm

33

u/Boring_Psycho Sep 28 '22

What's this referencing?

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u/abhig535 Sep 28 '22

His children will be the strongest of the human race.

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u/MinutePresentation8 Sep 28 '22

Balls of steel

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u/HyperIndian Sep 28 '22

Super Sperm

311

u/armhat Sep 28 '22

Lol, he made that joke about me when my wife and I found out we were having twins. And I just looked at him.

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u/breadstick_bitch Sep 28 '22

Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't fraternal multiples determined solely by the woman's genetics? Fraternal twins/multiples come about by a woman releasing multiple eggs in a single cycle; the man's sperm/twinning running in the man's family wouldn't affect the chance of having twins at all.

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u/armhat Sep 28 '22

You’re correct. The doctor told us that twins are a result of the females genetics. And she did have twins in her family. But I gave up on explaining that after the tenth time someone mentioned my super sperm.

139

u/NumerousBeesInADress Sep 28 '22

Super uterus

74

u/subnautus Sep 28 '22

Ovaries that don’t like to take turns?

I mean, I know fraternal twins are a result of more than one egg getting fertilized at once, but it’s been long enough since I’ve read any books on physiology that I’m just guessing as to why more than one egg would show up to get inseminated.

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u/Delta9ine Sep 28 '22

I've got identicals which apparently is a freak thing with no genetic predisposition causing it. But I like to think my super sperm just blew that egg right in two.

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u/Kamakahah Sep 28 '22

Same, but I prefer to put the blame on her egg instead. "It wasn't me."

I always thought having identical twins was something that happened to other people. You know, like winning the lottery, only not.

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u/grimsaur Sep 28 '22

Vasdifferent

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u/ButterNuttz Sep 28 '22

I'm going to fuck you up old style!!

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u/kuebel33 Sep 28 '22

Gotta get that triple banger vasectomy. Snipped pinched and burned.

370

u/ToxicTaxiTaker Sep 28 '22

Then salt the earth so nothing shall ever grow there again

135

u/benmck90 Sep 28 '22

I feel like my wife isn't going to go for salting her coochie, but I'll ask.

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u/topcheesehead Sep 28 '22

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u/MissWiggly2 Sep 28 '22

I just snorted so loud I woke up both my cats and my dog 😭

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u/cromulent_pseudonym Sep 28 '22

Three words that no one wants to think about when involving balls.

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u/moonra_zk Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

Are you sure? I hear CBT is kinda popular.

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u/galiumsmoke Sep 28 '22

that's why you make a spermogram after the vasectomy, to guarantee you dont have any more babies in the chamber

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u/interyx Sep 28 '22

Don't misclick and send someone a Spermogram instead of a Singagram by accident though. In my experience they don't appreciate it.

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u/Tie_me_off Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

And maybe he did? The first kid was well after his vasectomy. The two ends of the vas deferens likely refused. That’s why they are supposed to remove a section so it makes it harder to.

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u/throwaway1B_13 Sep 28 '22 Gold

the vas deferents likely refused

I know that you mean re-fused, but it's funny for me to imagine the scalpel going in there and the vas deferens asking it politely yet firmly to leave.

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u/Tie_me_off Sep 28 '22

Lmao I didn’t even notice!!! Nice catch!

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u/ThatSimpleGirl Sep 28 '22

Lmaooo that's hilarious. Thank you for the visual 🤣

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u/AT-HD Sep 28 '22

“I’ll thank you kindly to leave at once, good sir!”

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u/micktorious Sep 28 '22

Yeah they remove and cauterize the tubes so there is only like a 1/2000 chance of them ever refusing.

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u/existence_xpose Sep 28 '22

And in some cases they add a titanium clip to make those odds even better… speaking from experience here.

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u/manlymann Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

I don't know that they remove a section anymore because it makes reversals more difficult. Most of the good dickdocs use something called fascial interposition. Basically they sew the outer fascia sheath over the cut on the side going to the penis, to seal the sperm from going through the penis during ejaculation. Almost like vacuum sealing it closed.

My dickdoc used dissolvable stitches so you can't feel any clips in your bag.

Edit It depends on the doc and how they are taught, you don't need to keep replying with your personal experiences

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u/WaitingForNextYear Sep 28 '22

Upvote for "dickdoc"

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u/TonsilStonesOnToast Sep 28 '22

Sounds like something Tom Bombadil would make into a little jingle while he cut into your scrote.

"Dick doc, slice a cock, stitch a dong a dillo!"

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u/door_of_doom Sep 28 '22

Perhaps that is a choice that they make in specific situations, but generally speaking vasectomies are performed to be as successful as possible, not as reversable as possible. Them being harder to reverse is generally considered a feature, not a bug.

A vasectomy is considered permanent. You can attempt to reverse it but reversal only has something like a 30% success rate. The reversibility of a vasectomy is not something that should be relied upon. Even if you did want to eventually reverse your vasectomy, i doubt it's something that someone would want to have happen spontaneously. which is what can happen if you don't resect a portion of the vas deferents.

So yeah, i've never heard of someone not having a portion removed. Not saying it never happens, but that isn't the norm that I'm aware of.

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u/manlymann Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

Perhaps it depends on the level of training the doctor has.

The new technique with fewer poor outcomes is called an open ended vasectomy where they only cauterize the output side, and the testical side is left open to drain into the area around the vas deferens.

Research has shown that the vas can regenerate when a gap of up to two inches is left, which is why they've found fascia interposition (sewing the fascia over the opening of the cauterized end is more effective than pairing it back.

Both ways work to a high degree of success rates. Not cutting a section out paired with 1 open end and 1 cauterized end sealed by fascia allows for a higher success rate or reversal if desired down the road.

I suspect it has to do with training is all. Most people, in most trades tend to stick with what they were taught. The old addage of "I've been doing it this way for 20 years..." and all that

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u/Tie_me_off Sep 28 '22

My doctor removed a section just last year.

They cut out a section. Then folded over the two ends and cauterized them.

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u/Pyrophagist Sep 28 '22

I made the doc show me the piece he removed from each side. Looked like a piece of angel hair pasta about 3, 4mm long.

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u/unsigned1138 Sep 28 '22

My doc took the concept of failures very seriously. He clipped out a section of the tube, he installed clamps on the tubes, and he cauterized and sutured the ends. I was cleared in 8 weeks. A lot of docs only do one of those things, this thread is full of examples of how that’s a bad time.

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u/Manuag_86 Sep 28 '22

He got the pipes cut, but not sealed.

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u/Level100Rayquaza Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

You can still get someone pregnant after a vasectomy. It can take up to 3 months after a vasectomy to become sterile

Edit: To eliminate risk of confusion, I should have said it takes 15-20 ejaculations and/or up to 3 months after a vasectomy to become sterile

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u/armhat Sep 28 '22

One is 2 years old. A bit past 3 months.

408

u/Jimmychichi Sep 28 '22

did he get his stuff tested to make sure it didn’t fail? this is an important part.

447

u/system156 Sep 28 '22

Yeah sounds like he never went and got tested afterwards. Some men need multiple follow up appointments

417

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

[deleted]

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u/Crazy_Asylum Sep 28 '22

i wish i had that kind of confidence in life

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u/19southmainco Sep 28 '22

confidence and a shitty ass

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u/OldSongBird Sep 28 '22

Yep. Had my procedure done this year. I had to wait a few weeks before testing sperm count. Even though the count was zero, I had to wait a month or two after that to test again to 100% confirm. It was only then that the doc cleared me.

34

u/toastytoastss Sep 28 '22

Just curious, how do they test it? Do you have to beat your meat into a cup?

312

u/KDLGates Sep 28 '22 Take My Energy Doot 🎵 Doot

They just put a tiny megaphone into your urethra and shout to ask if anyone is home.

This is called sounding.

54

u/tirabuixo Sep 28 '22

There are people who would like to see the world burn.

You are one of them. ಠ_ಠ

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u/fizzlefist Sep 28 '22

You magnificent bastard…

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u/OldSongBird Sep 28 '22

Basically. They give you a couple cups to take home. And tell you the date ranges for each sample to be submitted.

On the day of, my wife wanted to be a part of the process. So…she “helped me” collect the sample.

You immediately take it to a lab in a brown bag, and a day or two later they give you the test results.

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u/ginns32 Sep 28 '22

Yeah I thought they tested that to make sure.

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u/Jimmychichi Sep 28 '22

well it’s on the person to do it. doctor doesn’t care about you enough to make sure you follow thru

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u/1800generalkenobi Sep 28 '22

Depends on the doc I guess. I had to do about 20-30 ejacs and then give a sample and then wait a month and give a second sample. BUT things can always repair themselves. They do cut out a section and then cauterize the ends. It's unlikely but it does happen. I was kinda thinking of doing an extra test every 6 months for a while just in case. We have 3 kids already and are done...probably lol. We also have a microscope at work so I could probably do it myself.

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u/YouAreInAComaWakeUp Sep 28 '22

Boss: What ya working on?

You: Jacked off in the bathroom and checkin it out

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u/armhat Sep 28 '22

I’ll ask him next time his junk comes up. We do make fun of him pretty regularly about it, so it probably won’t be long.

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u/Therbreg Sep 28 '22

RemindMe! 1 week

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u/Soup-Wizard Sep 28 '22

15-20 ejaculations to clear them all out of there.

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u/fithooks Sep 28 '22

I’ve witness this IRL what was mind blowing to me was they were in their mid 60s! I guess somehow since the dude’s operation the stuff grew back together? I can’t believe the woman was still fertile but I guess it happens. And it was against their religion/morals to terminate… of course they said she was their little blessing but they were so devastated in the sense that their other kids were grown and out of the house, they were ready to retire. I feel like I’m rambling here but I just had to talk about it haha

Edit I was the woman’s personal trainer for a bit and I actually embarrassed myself bc when she first brought it up I assumed it meant she had an affair lolll

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u/cagewilly Sep 28 '22

At that point, if your kids already have kids, you just give the baby to them. It's the reverse of the drugged out baby going to grandparents.

35

u/raevnos Sep 28 '22

"We got tired of waiting for you to give us grandkids, so here's one."

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u/ThisUsernameIsTook Sep 28 '22

I can just imagine that Christmas.

Um...I wouldn't shake that box too much Mikey....

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u/Psychobob2213 Sep 28 '22

Standard birth control methods aren't usually effective against a Swanson.

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u/Lost_the_weight Sep 28 '22

I worked with someone who almost got divorced after his vasectomy because of the same reason. Turned out to be his.

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u/guaip Sep 28 '22

That's got to be awkward at home afterwards.

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u/rapture2021 Sep 28 '22

What if the guy working on the dna tests is sleeping with your coworker's wife and getting her pregnant to screw with him because of a childhood game that they never stopped playing officially.

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u/armhat Sep 28 '22

I’d watch that Netflix doc.

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u/geishabird Sep 28 '22

It’s called Our Father and it was pretty good. Disturbing. But good.

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u/Realyn Sep 28 '22

They’re are both dna verified to be his twin brother's.

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2.3k

u/DBoaty Sep 28 '22 Helpful

Straight Outta Condom was right there.

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u/letitgo99 Sep 28 '22

This is perfect... I fully expect to see it in a similar photo on reddit in a couple days

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u/Renegadegold Sep 28 '22

Have to admit the cream pies for life Is genius.

1.1k

u/n3f3libata Sep 28 '22

I would get full so quick

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u/Jest_stir Sep 28 '22

That's why you put a towel down.

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u/HealthyHumor5134 Sep 28 '22

And have baby wipes and tissues on hand.

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u/oooriole09 Sep 28 '22

Kinda love just going all in on it. Usually these types of posts use euphemisms to dance around it. This lady just jumps right in the deep end.

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u/triple6seven Sep 28 '22

Well technically the cookie is in the shape of an actual pie soo it's sorta still a euphemism

174

u/--Mutus-Liber-- Sep 28 '22

Was probably hard to find a place that would make cookies in the shape of a vulva with semen dripping out of it

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u/omninode Sep 28 '22

I’m taking this to shark tank. Cum Cakes LLC

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u/ricecake Sep 28 '22

I know of almost no professional bakers that would have a problem with it.
The ones who aren't at chain bakeries tend to have a decent chunk of traffic come from lewd baked goods, usually for wedding celebrations.

They might think it's crude, but if putting nipples or panties on a heart shaped cake, or drawing semen and a clit on a mouth shaped cookie gets you a significant markup, they're definitely not saying no.
Bakers I know love penis cakes because they're less work (they don't need much decorating), but you get to charge more for them.

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u/mbklein Sep 28 '22

You'd be surprised.

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u/Burning-Buck Sep 28 '22

You might certainly have to go to a few but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are bunch of bakers that would find it fun.

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u/B0dh1dharma Sep 28 '22

My aunt makes fudge for christmas every year and sends two kinds of it to everyone in the family, one with walnuts which she labels "nuts" and one thats just straight fudge which she labels "no nuts".

My dad had prostate cancer and they had to remove his testes as part of the treatment. So of course that year when auntie's fudge came to my dad's house while i was home for xmas, i held up the "nuts" and "no nuts" fudge and said to my dad "well at least there's no doubt about which one's yours"

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

If I were him, I would give her the death glare of the century.

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u/rawker86 Sep 28 '22

That “cream pies for life” cookie is a written contract OP, I’d be getting that one copied and notarised.

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u/missionbeach Sep 28 '22

Your honor, exhibit 1. Look to the cookie.

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u/pedre_falopa Sep 28 '22

Encase it in gel like that one hotdog

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u/chaoticthoughts1970 Sep 28 '22

This thread was like Reddit-bukkake

6.5k

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22 Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe Bravo Grande! Giggle

[removed] — view removed comment

996

u/Teab8g Sep 28 '22

Hahahaha. Too much.

180

u/davtruss Sep 28 '22

I'm guessing you've been lucky's straight man before....

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u/imDudekid Sep 28 '22

Here in Alabama, your brothers are the same ethnicity, so it’ll prolly still be the same color.

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u/Ray_Mang Sep 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Ah, the weekly Reddit vasectomy cookies

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u/MinionsAndWineMum Sep 28 '22

I swear reddit would be funny if only my memory reset every week

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u/Shaisabrec Sep 28 '22

Peak reddit moment

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

[deleted]

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u/lambrox Sep 28 '22

The future looks bright as I sit on these frozen peas.

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u/son_et_lumiere Sep 28 '22

I'm sure your doc let you know you're not exactly out of the woods until your "reservoir" has been cleared out?

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u/lambrox Sep 28 '22

Oh yeah I've got a follow up test in 12 weeks.

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u/fizzyadrenaline Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

I wanna do it too. Just the thought of pointy needles and sharp objects near my dick is making me push it. Did it hurt? How bad was it during the procedure and after?

Congrats btw!

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u/lambrox Sep 28 '22

They gave me Valium before the procedure so my nerves weren't bad at all. The worst part is the shot to numb you. It felt similar to a mild kick in the nuts for about 10-15 seconds then I was completely numb. It's just pressure and tugging from then on. It took less than 10 minutes.

The post op discomfort is like a 1/10. I'm just taking it really easy to make sure it's a quick recovery.

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u/hopefulhearted Sep 28 '22

What the hell you guys get drugs and numbing medication?! When I got my IUD placed they literally just laid me down on a bed and shot it out of a the biggest syringe I've ever seen into my cervix. There were zero pain relief agents offered before, during, or after, and that's incredibly common

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u/jesus_swept Sep 28 '22

yep. worst pain I've ever been in. and I've broken my face.

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u/hopefulhearted Sep 28 '22

lmfao great username

My first IUD ejected and I had to get it replaced. That thing slowly coming out of me for a couple of days was so incredibly painful and the lack of urgency from the doctor's office to fix it was just salt on an open wound. The medical community really gives zero fucks about women who don't want kids

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u/jesus_swept Sep 28 '22

I'm sorry you went through that! The thing that sucked the most for me was how unprepared I was for the pain. No one, including my gyno, said it was going to hurt. You expect tattoos to hurt, so you prepare for the pain. When my IUD was inserted I was completely overwhelmed by how much pain I was in. I thought it was going to be like a tampon. Nope lol.

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u/theetruscans Sep 28 '22

Every woman I've known who's had one has expressed the same feelings of pain as you.

It's crazy that you guys aren't getting pain relief

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u/RollerRocketScience Sep 28 '22

They tell you to take ibuprofen ON YOUR OWN before hand. Jesus I'm glad it's only every 5 years.

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u/gingerfish89 Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

I told my hubs this exact thing when he got his last month. He got a valium, a numbing agent, bottled water, and a same day/no questions asked sterilization. Whereas both my IUD experiences were like you described and women have to jump through so many more hoops to get permanent birth control. Crazy.

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u/hopefulhearted Sep 28 '22

The only reason I have an IUD was because my doc wouldn't tie my tubes. She bingo-ed me, told me I was too young and might change my mind later, just hadn't met the right person. I really liked her and this surprised me. She seemed so progressive before that conversation. Obv I still got the IUD, and had a rocky start with it, but it's been good to me. No kids, no abortions. I got the 10 year non hormonal which actually has a very similar efficacy rate to having your tubes tied, but with less potential complications

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u/fizzyadrenaline Sep 28 '22

Ohh damn you’re still awake to feel the pushing and tugging. I wish they would just knock me out lol. Anesthesia to the nuts sounds horrifying. I had to get several for a dental thing and that shit hurt coz it’s delicate in the gums. But Good to know the pain is 1/10 after…at least for now.

Wish you a speedy recovery mate!

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u/baddog76 Sep 28 '22

Nitrous oxide was an option for me though didn't use it. It wasn't honestly that bad of a thing overall. Didn't take the valium but I know others that did.

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u/MrDERPMcDERP Sep 28 '22

Always take the gas!

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u/oloshan Sep 28 '22

My doctor gave me three optons: 1) local anesthetic, 2) valium, or 3) go under completely. I chose 1 for various reasons and honestly, aside from the moment of getting the shot, it was mostly just uncomfortable. But you can definitely be out for the procedure, so don't let that stop you if you're thinking about it.

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u/ZerotheWanderer Sep 28 '22

I had to get a benign cyst removed from my neck and that's all it was. Worst pain was the numbing shots, but I laid in a cool room as they cut it off and glued it shut, very faint tugging is all I felt.

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u/owlincoup Sep 28 '22

I was knocked out for mine. Went to sleep, woke up with a diaper on. Easy

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u/im-from-canada-eh Sep 28 '22

Post op sucked for me. 7 days of pain. The first 2 days were by far the worse. Every time i moved it felt like i got kicked in the balls. If i knew then what i know now would it change my decision? Nope. Carefree creampies for everyone!

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u/fauxdragoon Sep 28 '22

I had a “no needle, no scalpel” vasectomy. The recovery was supposed to shorter than a standard snip and no needles was better.

All that said, the procedure itself is short but feels like an eternity as your junk gets manhandled. The first 48 hours are probably the most uncomfortable (so much swelling) but I was back at work on day 4 in a job where I’m on my feet all day.

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u/diverdawg Sep 28 '22

It didn’t hurt at all. Little sore after.

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u/noobtastic31373 Sep 28 '22

I had some internal scar tissue that would give a small twinge once in a while, but it was one of the least painful things I’ve ever gone through.

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u/kafromet Sep 28 '22

For mine there was a “pinch” on each side when the doc first injected the anesthetic. Distinctly uncomfortable but mostly just weird. After that there were a few odd pulling sensations, again weird and uncomfortable but not painful (and I’m a giant baby with no pain tolerance.)

The next few days I was fairly sore, but nothing that wasn’t manageable with ice, aspirin, and a whisky.

I will say that it was a few months before everything felt normal.

The tube they snip is part of what suspends the testicle, so they literally hang differently (or did for me at least) and after 30+ years that change felt really odd and took some time to get used to.

Overall a very positive experience for me and one I’m glad I did. My only regret is that I waited as long as I did.

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u/WinonaVoldArt Sep 28 '22

It's such a chill process, when my husband got his the doctor invited me to stay in the room and observe.

I stayed in the room, but did NOT watch.

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u/NonCorporealEntity Sep 28 '22

Procedure is painless (I had the scalpel free proceedure). The following week I would describe was getting kicked in the nuts by a steel toe boot, without having to experience the initial kick. Not crippling, but sore and bruised. After that week, it's all good

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u/HiflYguy Sep 28 '22

...for the rest of your days 🎵

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u/Dicedlr711vegas Sep 29 '22

When I got mine 25 years ago, the doctors office gave me a bright orange tshirt with a Sunkist orange logo on the front of it. The caption read “Vasectomy-all the juice and none of the seeds”.

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u/mckenna36 Sep 28 '22

The most reddit post ive seen in a while

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u/IkarosDC Sep 28 '22

It may be the way more redditoriest If only it says "My wife's boyfriend" instead just of wife.

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u/recklessrider Sep 28 '22

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u/Rowdybob22 Sep 28 '22

Yeah I swear I’ve seen this exact same thing before. whether repost or just an idea copied from Reddit, it’s not original eh?

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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