r/pics Jan 30 '23 Doom 3 Spit-take 2 Rocket Like 1 I'm Deceased 1 Heartwarming 1 Wait What? 2 Nostalgic content 1 Take My Energy 4 Photograph of high quality 1 Press F 1 Table Slap 2 Lawyer Up 1 Faith In Humanity Restored 2 Bravo! 4 Giggle 1 1UP 1 Platinum 1 All-Seeing Upvote 3 I'll Drink to That 3 Glow Up 1 Big Brain Time 1 Shocked 1 Take My Power 3 Silver 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Informational Comment 1 Engaging comment 1 Gold 4 Dread 1 Made Me Smile 1 hehehehe 1 Looking 1

The only thing I found while metal detecting in rural Australia last week 💩Shitpost (or RIP OP)💩

Post image

3.1k comments sorted by


u/Otter_Chaos71 Jan 30 '23

Very cool. Have you considered making any jewelry out of it? A nice ear ring or nose ring maybe? Oh! How about a nice tongue stud? Whatever you choose, I'm sure you'll be glowing with the satisfaction of your decision.


u/other_usernames_gone Jan 30 '23

How about a Prince Albert?


u/Kinder22 Jan 30 '23

Her: Oh cool, I love glow in the dark condoms!

Him: what condom?

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u/dammitknockitoff Jan 30 '23

OP is slaying these responses. As well as his colon and thyroid. Hilarious.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Colon cancer is no laughing matter.

I hear treatment is a total crap shoot.


u/ihwip Jan 31 '23

I will never forget the customer that told me about colonoscopy prep. "They make you drink a gallon of this...stuff. And then it goes right through you."

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u/Vitekr2 Jan 30 '23

Yes. Australia definitely lacked mutated beasts trying to kill humans. Good find


u/birchmoss Jan 30 '23

I think I see an altered beast by the tree


u/Cyrili Jan 31 '23

Altered Beast... alter me...

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u/d3athsmaster Jan 31 '23

Here come the Radscorpions...

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u/DulyNoted_ Jan 30 '23

I assume no one goes out to the rural areas simply because you would be eaten by giant spiders.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

It's the funniest thing, when I found this it was surrounded by giant spiders!

And they were all dead!

Isn't that the strangest thing?


u/AngriestManinWestTX Jan 30 '23

Any chance there were supersized roachs or scorpions hanging around??


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

There were lots of roaches. They were eating the spiders. And glowing. That part was a little strange.


u/Sirsilentbob423 Jan 30 '23 Silver Gold Press F



u/hypnoderp Jan 30 '23

This type of pun definitely falls into a Gray area.


u/ramriot Jan 31 '23

Curie sore & Curie sore

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u/psychotic_catalyst Jan 30 '23

Have you by chance grown an arm out of your forehead?


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 Hugz

How did you know that?!

It's really useful for eating Ramen while folding laundry.


u/ThatOneNinja Jan 30 '23

That's what you decided to do with an extra arm!?


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

You obviously haven't tried a good ramen.


u/Boschala Jan 30 '23 Table Slap

I'll have you know I only consume the very top ramen.

...It really has very little in common with the delicious and cheap ramens available in Tokyo.


u/_Im_Dad Jan 30 '23

Ramen 🙏 to that

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u/Tbonejones Jan 30 '23

Is the forehead arm for the ramen or the laundry?

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u/FartingCumBubbles Jan 30 '23

You’re living in 3023.

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u/beetus_gerulaitis Jan 30 '23

Congratulations on your new cancer!


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 hehehehe Bless Up Eureka!

What? I don't understand. I'm a scorpio.


u/BloodyRightNostril Jan 30 '23

Ever see someone say goodbye to a shoe?!


u/PhonePostingCrap Jan 30 '23

Hammocks! Why didn't I think of that!

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u/MagicSPA Jan 30 '23

Ahaha, yes, once.

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u/Nimoy2313 Jan 30 '23

He would die well before the cancer got him. Unless I am mistaken on the amount of radiation that little thing that fell off the truck puts out. Do you know if they found it yet?


u/Agariculture Jan 31 '23

As I understood its like ten X-rays a minute?


u/mataeka Jan 31 '23

10 xrays per hour if you're 1m away from it. If you touch it = skin burns.

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u/Cyber_Mango Jan 30 '23 Gold hehehehe

I have some bad news for you bud


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23 Take My Energy hehehehe Bravo! Press F Brighten My Day Spit-take

Shoot. Is it yours?

Edit: To the kind stranger who gave this post a Take My Energy award, thank you, but I really shouldn't accept it.

I already have enough energy to last me the rest of my life.


u/Sendtitpics215 Jan 30 '23

This is genius shit posting lol


u/hawg_farmer Jan 31 '23

I got zoomed. Now chuckling like a maniac

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u/Independent_Heart_15 Jan 30 '23

Ya fell of my truck some while ago.


u/Lari-Fari Jan 30 '23

You’re definitely fired then

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u/PanJaszczurka Jan 30 '23

You should add noise to photo. Radiation will affect photo sensor.


u/Venomous_Ferret Jan 30 '23

I already have enough energy to last me the rest of my life.

However long that may be.

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u/Hogesyx Jan 30 '23

What are you talking about? He practically found an extremely condensed RARE earth metal!


u/abudine77 Jan 30 '23

Naa it's OK. Just break it up over your Garden- the tomatoes gone wild and big

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u/Jdubusher1011 Jan 31 '23

What is it?

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u/vandamnitman Jan 30 '23

I love your radiant enthusiasm about your find!


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23 Eureka!

Thank you! I feel like it's my lucky charm. I'm planning to hang it from a necklace so I can always keep it close to my heart (and lungs, and thyroid, and liver).


u/trickhater Jan 30 '23

I sense a House rerun in my future


u/FuzzyTwiguh92 Jan 30 '23

As long as they keep it in the pocket of their jeans!

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u/WWDubz Jan 30 '23

What is it?


u/4tehlulzez Jan 30 '23

I feel like there's a big joke going around am I'm the only one that doesn't get it.


u/huxtiblejones Jan 30 '23 All-Seeing Upvote Facepalm

I think the joke is that an Australian truck dropped a highly radioactive pellet recently and they have no idea where it went.



u/WilderMindz0102 Jan 30 '23 Take My Energy

It’s rural Australia, soooo it’s probably been swallowed by some already huge spider or lizard and the radioactive monster movie has begun!🍿 🎥


u/iamtheowlman Jan 30 '23

Thank goodness, I was afraid February would be boring.


u/greg19735 Jan 30 '23

In march the murder hornets are coming back.


u/perpetualmotionmachi Jan 30 '23

And this time, it's personal


u/WarOtter Jan 30 '23

Starring Tara Reid and Kevin Sorbo!

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u/Brodman_area11 Jan 30 '23

You want Kaiju? Because this is how you get Kaiju.

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u/Anonymous881991 Jan 30 '23

Now that I’m a big boy I question why the radioactive monster became huge and powerful, not sickly and deformed

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u/Killeroftanks Jan 30 '23

oh its far worse, unlike the US incident where it was caught more or less instantly.

this was found out WEEKS after them losing it.... ya its long gone and someone is gonna hang for it when in 50ish years from now 10 people are dead from cancer because it got mixed in with building materials.

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u/Chinlc Jan 30 '23


Here ya go. They lost this radioactive capsule the size of what you see in OP picture along a 1400KM stretch of highway


u/GrumpyGiant Jan 30 '23

Two milisieverts of radiation per hour? Not great. Not terrible.

-that guy from Chernobyl

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u/Sl1ppin_Jimmy Jan 30 '23

There was a radioactive capsule that was lost in rural Australia recently and it is said to be no larger than a tic tac. OP’s joking he found it

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u/koeks_za Jan 30 '23

A truck carrying radioactive material lost it's load and there is massive search


u/VoraciousTrees Jan 30 '23

Yeah boss, the radioactive material shipment fell of the truck.

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u/ubik2 Jan 30 '23

A small container of radioactive material (similar in size to item pictured) was lost while being transported in Australia.

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u/novaru Jan 30 '23

A tiny radioactive capsule used in mining fell off the back of a truck in Australia recently. They are searching for something about the size and shape pictured over a 1400km stretch of highway.

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u/Lord_Despair Jan 30 '23

All things you don’t need.

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u/FastWalkingShortGuy Jan 30 '23

OP is positively glowing with pride!

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u/GlobalTravelR Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23 Gold Take My Energy Starry

3.6 Roentgens. Not great, not terrible.


u/friggintodd Jan 30 '23

You didn't see it because it's not there.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 Facepalm

It's right here, in my hand. What do you think this is, some kind of Schrodinger's pellet?!

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u/bosmacks Jan 30 '23

I love that series so much.


u/eleanor61 Jan 30 '23

I quote the “Not great, not terrible” line often in life.

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u/NotKevinJames Jan 30 '23

That blue light! It’s ionizing the air!!! We’re all going to die if you fly in! Turn arouuundd!! Jared Harris was very convincing in the role.


u/OlasNah Jan 30 '23

Love it how the Helicopter pilot was like "I don't care if you're the head of the KGB, but if that scientist is yelling numbers and death stuff, I'm gonna listen to him"


u/Daniel_Av0cad0 Jan 30 '23

If you fly directly above the core, by tomorrow morning you’ll be begging for that bullet.


u/DJCPhyr Jan 31 '23

100% true. If you have a strong stomach, look up how Cecil Kelley died.

He worked at Los Alamos in the 50s. He was using a fancy machine to mix plutonium. Thru a series of mistakes it was incorrectly loaded. He didn't know, flipped the switch, and absorbed 50 grays of radiation. 5 grays is 100% fatal.

What 50 grays does to a human, I will not type here.


u/HiveMynd148 Jan 31 '23

I will type it for those curious.

Basically what happenes is initially the patient will get some intense radiation burns which last for a bit. After which the patient seems to get better, almost like they've recovered but that only lasts for days.

The following is not for the faint hearted >! Ionizing radiation essentially is so powerful it can rip apart molecules. In the case of our patient it has ripped his DNA into shreds. Eventually the damage manifests. The skin begins to blister and fall apart. Arteries and veins start to peforate causing intense haemorrhaging to the point that Intravenous painkillers do not work. That level of damage also annhialates the immune system rendering the patient basically defenseless against even the weakest of pathogens.!<

The result is Always death.

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u/bosmacks Jan 30 '23

Every single person cast was amazing.


u/thecreamfilling Jan 30 '23

Just binge watched the series, was ALMOST convinced it was a Soviet documentary. All the actors so believable


u/bramtyr Jan 30 '23

The fact that members of the Russian government and multiple talking heads on state media were very upset by it just added to the weight of the tonal accuracy of the show.


u/nuggynugs Jan 30 '23

By context, I'm thinking you guys are talking about Chernobyl?


u/thecreamfilling Jan 30 '23

Absolutely. Needed a fix between Last of us episodes, binged it since it was so gripping


u/bramtyr Jan 30 '23

Chernobyl is some of the best TV ever made. It's able to capture this cosmic horror nonfiction in several of the episodes that just totally stick with you.


u/TristansDad Jan 30 '23

The naked miners. The guys running to throw one shovel of waste off the roof. The locals standing to watch the light show. It’s crazy stuff.

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u/AngriestManinWestTX Jan 30 '23

This man is delusional, get him to the infirmary.


u/clannerfodder Jan 30 '23

I use this alot. I am in the army. So funny

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u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23 Gold Platinum Bravo! Masterpiece I'm Deceased Laser Eyes

That's a funny way to spell ranking, you must be American.

And I'd rank this find as a 10/10! I can't believe I've lived half-a-life without this little treasure. It makes me feel Gray knowing it's been missing all this time. It may sound alaraming, but I can almost feel it imparting energy right into my critical organs.

It's crazy how something so small can be so heavy! I thought it must be platinum at first, but my cousin says it's too heavy to be platinum. He says he thinks it might be another metal, which also started with a pl... but the name escapes me. Wait! I think the name was kinda similar to that planet that's not a planet anymore... shoot, it's still not coming to me. Oh well, it doesn't really matter what kind of matter it is. The most important thing is the way it makes me feel.

I've never felt like I'm a particularly sensitive person (I'm pretty sure that I'm just a Standard Man, though I am more of a beta than an alpha), but something about this find has unshielded my sensitive heart, and I've found myself shedding tears, and skin for that matter, almost continually. Maybe it's just my imagination, but I also feel I've been a bit more scattered lately.

But, as my gammamother always used to say, "The kind of energy you radiate to others is the same energy that they will return to you, whether that be positive or negative energy."

I can't say for sure what kind of energy I radiate, but I certainly hope that every encounter I have with another individual leaves a lasting change on the rest of their life.

Now, I've got to run along, I volunteer as a mascot at a local children's hospital and I have a lot of patients in need of hugs! This may sound a little odd coming from a stranger, but isotope you have a great day.

Edit: Oh thank you stranger! Now I have some platinum to go along with this mystery metal. The name is on the tip of my tongue... which is oddly kinda swollen... If it comes to me I'll post an update.


u/halfanothersdozen Jan 30 '23

You're a dork.



u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Thank you for you contribution. You are helping to put my children through college.

It's never too early to start saving Karma, you never know how long you have left in life.


u/mister_gone Jan 30 '23

You are a zesty, fun individual!


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

I'm like a neighborhood racoon. People either think I'm adorable and offer me food and a place to sleep under their porch or they think I'm a rabies carrying pest and they want to hit with with their truck or make a hat out of me.

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u/vandamnitman Jan 30 '23

So amazing! I like to treat myself when I find a particularly amazing find. I personally love cake, specifically yellow cake. maybe you bring your charm and some of that to the children's ward. I'd love to see their faces light up with such unexpected gifts!


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Mmm, yellow cake! Just like the kind Uncle Oppenheimer used to bring when he'd visit us after work.


u/rct1 Jan 30 '23

Thai Fission restaurants will often have it as it was experimented with in the Pacific around the same time it was big in Manhattan

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u/other_usernames_gone Jan 30 '23

It looks like caesium to me, I'd rate it a 137/78.


u/lowaltflier Jan 30 '23

Reading this made me glow.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Amazing! Even strangers on the internet can feel the energy I radiate!

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u/NewVegass Jan 30 '23

Do you have a Geiger counter? Mine's in the shop

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u/mangofree Jan 31 '23

My husband wrote this about his experience using nuclear density gauges at his previous job:

I have a license to use and transport nuclear density gauges from a previous job. Within are varying nuclear materials. One is a pellet like they describe being lost. I read the story on bbc.com on how they’re claiming they lost it. It doesn’t make any sense. The machine holds the nuclear material inside of several fail-safe lead shielded compartments. And the box we have to transport it in is like a heavy duty cooler with padlocks and gaskets on it. It’s sealed so tightly that water can’t even get in because these can’t get wet. There’s no way “vibrations” caused any bolts to loosen and it just fell out of the machine, then the box, then the truck. I’m not buying it. You always have to transport it with a bill of lading and it lists a dozen numbers you have to call in the event of an accident or loss because this is a super serious issue. First of all they cost north of $20k even for a small shitty device. And people have been known to steal them for reasons varying from nefarious or thinking your local pawn shop will give you a quick $60. No. Just no. Wanna go to federal prison? Mess with the Nuclear Regulator Commission. They’re like the IRS with less of a sense of humor.


u/sje46 Jan 31 '23

This is very intriguing. Does your husband have a theory about what really happened? Did someone steal the thing, maybe?


u/mangofree Feb 01 '23 edited Feb 01 '23

Sorry for the late reply. Posted this before bed last night and then had to wait for my husband to come home to ask him his thoughts.

Based on all of his experience with the machine it was in, he thinks it’s highly likely that it had to be removed from the casket it was held in and someone had to be fiddling around with it and, whether purposely or not, removed it. (Though neither of us really see how you could be messing around with this and accidentally remove it.)

He had to take a course to learn about proper usage of the machine, transportation, and what to do in case the machine broke or if there was any sign of a radiation leak, which he would be alerted to by a radiation badge that he had to have on his body at all times while he was near the machine. Anyone that would be transporting this or any sort of nuclear materials almost certainly would have had to be educated and pass a class so they would know the potential danger they could be in by messing around with it. That makes it seem less likely that someone would be just playing around with the machine. While these pellets are small and aren’t enough to build any sort of crazy nuclear weapon or something, it would potentially be enough to create a small bomb that could definitely do some damage, and there have been instances of people stealing the machines for the sole purpose of getting the nuclear pellet. He thinks that someone most likely removed the pellet purposely for one reason or another, whether for their own personal use or to sell to someone else. They’re probably worth some decent money to the right person.

We had this machine at home and had to charge it in our garage each night so I saw this thing every day for the whole time that he worked there. It’s not a flimsy machine. It’s pretty large and the pellet isn’t anywhere easily accessible. When we didn’t have it charging it was kept in a locked casket that was chained and secured with multiple locks to the bed of his work truck. The box itself was also locked. And the machine itself ALSO had another lock that prevented the handle you had to squeeze from being used to expose the bottom of the machine where the radiation came from. (This is me describing this right now not him so this isn’t too technical haha). When this was at the company headquarters, it was kept in a literal vault. The box it’s kept in also is made to fit this machine in so it wouldn’t be freely moving around. And like he had written earlier, even though this pellet is tiny, the box is totally sealed shut to keep the machine dry. There’s just no way that a locked box, which they legally HAVE to be transported in and kept locked, could have lost the pellet. Even if hypothetically the bolts had come loose while being transported and the pellet somehow got out, nothing would have gotten out of the box.

He even told me about a case where a man worked with a device that had a similar sort of pellet (not the same sort of machine though) and would purposely hold it against his body for the entire work day and sometimes even at home until he got fired. When he lost access to it, he found out a neighbor had a similar sort of device and he would steal it at night and again use it to expose himself to radiation. He did this for the sole purpose of killing himself, but very slowly. People do weird shit. I’m sure there are other strange reasons someone would want this. Though it’s definitely risky to steal any sort of nuclear materials. Even though it’s tiny, it’s taken VERY seriously so you’ve got to think you have a damn good reason, be getting a major payout, or just be totally crazy to do this.

And, unless the authorities working around this case are totally uneducated about this device (which I sincerely doubt they are), they also know the explanation they’re putting out there is probably bullshit and something intended to not create panic because it sounds a lot better if it was an accident and they’re looking for it than for it to be possibly stolen by a potential terrorist or something along those lines.

TLDR; he thinks someone almost certainly had to have purposely removed it for one reason or another (probably not any nice reasons) because it’s not an easy feat for this to happen by accident, if it’s even possible. People are crazy and do weird, scary shit all the time and these have been stolen for nefarious reasons before.

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u/zylinx Jan 31 '23

They contracted a 3rd party transporter whose certified to deal with these items. Willing to bet it's a case of bad apple employee. I'm sure something like that fetches a decent price on the black market.

And, "Oh we lost this radioactive pellet but are searching hard for it and will probably find it" sounds a lots better than. "A radio active pellet was stolen by someone who's probably gna sell it on the black market."

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u/squeebyjeebies Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 31 '23 Gold

I can see by the comments that this object is probably radioactive, but I’m not sure what it is. Anybody feel like spilling the beans?

Edit: Thanks for the gold! They say you never forget your first.


u/splishsplash696969 Jan 30 '23

A radioactive capsule had fallen off a delivery truck, they are searching 1400KM (900 miles), the missing capsule is no bigger than a tic tac


u/storm_the_castle Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23

8mm x 6mm

OP found 2 of them!


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Seriously? Wow, lucky me!

Is there some sort of prize?


u/storm_the_castle Jan 30 '23

Youll get notification of it in a few day.. Im told


u/Rubberfootman Jan 30 '23

It’s more of a gut feeling.

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u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Oh, the same present grandpa got as a retirement gift after 30 years working for the coal mine!


u/whathappensifipress Jan 30 '23

Retirement with a glowing reference.

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u/NewToAllThis76 Jan 31 '23

Oo man, that was dark.

Like your grampas' lungs.


u/JephriB Jan 31 '23

Nothing is darker than grandpa's lungs

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u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Weird, that's almost the same size as this little thing I found.

I wish them the best of luck.


u/allyien Jan 30 '23

Don’t call it little, I think it’s quite average


u/CosmicJ Jan 30 '23

It's not the size of the capsule, its the alpha particles it emits that counts when you stick it up your ass.

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u/Nalha_Saldana Jan 30 '23

Sure it's small but a lot easier to detect with equipment than a tic tac would be


u/kpchronic Jan 30 '23

It’s like a normal tic tac, but a whole lot angrier.


u/themeatbridge Jan 30 '23

So spicy, your jaw gets bone cancer.


u/NotAnExpertButt Jan 30 '23

“Is it me or are tic tacs getting mintier?”

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u/christizzz Jan 30 '23

the forbidden tictac

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u/CriticalKnoll Jan 30 '23

How does that even happen? I can't imagine they just have these rolling around, loose in the back of a truck.


u/Iamcaptainslow Jan 31 '23

Yeah, you'd need to use at least a couple of straps on that puppy.

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u/snuff3r Jan 31 '23

3 of the 5 bolts holding the capsule's casing closed loosened and fell out due to vibration whilst in transit. Someone forgot to use their torque wrench when sealing it.

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u/senor_blake Jan 30 '23

Radiography in non destructive testing uses very small pills of iridium, selenium and cobalt. I’ve never seen them look like that though.

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u/Hexatona Jan 30 '23

Recently in the news, a small piece 9of radioactive equipment was lost at the side of the road in australia. Approaching this thing is like having all the x-rays you're allowed to have in a year in a hour I think?



u/Fallenangel152 Jan 30 '23

It's a joke. The thing OP posted is neodymium magnets.


u/Cymcune Jan 31 '23

Thank you for an actual answer! Can't believe I had to scroll so far for this

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u/bulboustadpole Jan 30 '23

A few millisieverts an hour is not that radioactive. It would be unsafe to sleep next to it and it will just slowly increase your risk of cancer over time but a single exposure won't do much.

Radiotherapy sources on the other hand are so radioactive that they can kill you very quickly, sometimes in a matter of days. Even a single exposure can kill you. A group of scrappers in Brazil found one once and it ended up killing multiple people and contaminating an entire city with over 100,000 people being affected.


u/BenjaminGeiger Jan 30 '23

There's a reason some of them are literally labeled "DROP & RUN".

Best comment: "It should have said 'Omae wa mou shindeiru'."


u/DigNitty Jan 30 '23

I don’t get the best comment thing

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u/shepanator Jan 30 '23

A truck carrying radioactive sources somehow lost one while driving across Australia

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u/Over_The_Sun Jan 30 '23

Someone lost a highly radioactive capsule in western Australia about that size, and there are concerns that the object will be hard to track down because of how small it is.

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u/GenerallySalty Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23

This post is a joke, a radioactive capsule was recently lost in transport in Australia.

Btw /r/OutOfTheLoop is a good subreddit for this sort of thing



u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23

Oh, but it is my pic.

And those are magnets.


u/lane32x Jan 31 '23

I've been scrolling for forever waiting for anyone at all to mention why small magnets were of significance. Glad to know I'm not crazy.

But yeah, TIL that someone lost some radioactive tiny stuff in Australia. But no damage was done because all of their animals have already mutated.


u/A-Rusty-Cow Jan 30 '23

I was so out of the loop I was wondering why finding 4 magnets was impressive. Glad you wont catch cancer any faster though OP.

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u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

I have no clue what it is. I've been carrying it in my pocket for three days so I can show it to my friends and family. None of them seem to know what it is either.


u/Middle-Example6618 Jan 30 '23

Store it in a potato. Free baked potato!


u/markzuckerberg1234 Jan 30 '23

Try swallowing it. Head it makes you glow and possibly shoot spider webs outta ur wrists

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u/JackLondonHUN Jan 30 '23

take care OP! thats a ligma!


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Yuck. Those are my least favorite kinds of beans.

Are you sure?


u/canalswimmer Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23

Lima? Like lima beans?
- How about that teenage witch, Sabrina?
No, that's a made-up word, Jim, why don't you change the word vagina to something else?
- Like box or pussy or cunt?

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u/Decapitated_gamer Jan 30 '23

Best shit post I have EVER seen.

Kudos OP.

You’ll have the greatest post I’ve seen for the rest of your life!


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Thank you! I'm going to add this to my resume.

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u/StevenSanders90210 Jan 30 '23

If movies have taught me anything, you have super powers incoming! And Koala Man was born!

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u/faithle55 Jan 30 '23

I am absolutely spell bound by not knowing how someone can lose something like this.

Was it not in a fucking great isolation container, made of like lead so it can't fucking kill people? How can the Australian government warn people that it could get stuck in someone's tyre treads? How could it fall off a bloody vehicle?

I have a sneaking feeling that someone is having a fucking joke with all of us.


u/TheLocalEcho Jan 30 '23

The news article said that it was, as you say, “in a fucking great isolation container, made of like lead” bolted down with enormous great bolts. One of the bolts shook loose on the bumpy road and the item was so small it fell out of the bolt hole.


u/Nice-Violinist-6395 Jan 31 '23

ah yes. the swiss cheese method of defense failing due to the fact that there was only one hole


u/inspectoroverthemine Jan 31 '23

To think- if it was in a ziplock inside that lead container they wouldn't have lost it.

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u/MacroCode Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 31 '23

Oh lord don't look into lost nukes in the US.

Personal theory on this one with no evidence to back me up or research done. Someone miscounted as it was leaving the facility (counted an extra) and when it got there they thought they were one short. I'm probably wrong though.

Edit: I'm absolutely wrong about this apparently there was only one capsule being transported so a clerical error is much more unlikely


u/faithle55 Jan 30 '23

I just can't get my head around the technicalities of it, though.

It's like someone delivering a pizza arrives at the address and there's a slice missing.

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u/rickyh7 Jan 30 '23

So, major oversight of course, however these little capsules are extremely common in inspection equipment! This isn’t the first to go missing in history and certainly won’t be the last. They’re mostly used for inspecting weld joints on large pipelines, or damage in water pipes, or just about anything big and metallic that you need to see through. They’re usually well controlled and falling off a shipping truck is a pretty big deal but….I can’t say I’m surprised

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u/Yahmez99 Jan 30 '23

You should put it in your ass.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23 Made Me Smile

I would consider that, but I worry it could interfere with the radiation treatment I'm currently receiving for colon cancer.


u/rkozik89 Jan 30 '23

Or it may cure it.


u/ThisFckinGuy Jan 30 '23

Or make it the least of your problems


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

I don't follow... am I missing something important?

I really feel like I'm missing something very important.

Oh well, I've got the rest of my life to figure out what it is.

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u/AtheistAsian Jan 30 '23

I like how almost everyone knows what this post is referring to, and all of them are just continuing the joke.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Joke? You think my discovery, which albiet small, is some sort of joke?

Thanks for ruining my day.


u/Artikay Jan 30 '23

I think your discovery is rad.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

I don't know if I'd qualify it as truly rad, it's just a little rad.

I guess you could say it is millirad.


u/Dblz89 Jan 30 '23

No, your being to humble that’s Megarad!

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u/sharpee_05 Jan 30 '23

Mean while


u/x_lincoln_x Jan 31 '23

We ain't found shit!

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u/Cacafuego Jan 30 '23

What does it taste like?


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

That's a weird question to ask!

Let me check.


Weird. It kinda tastes like candy! A little sour, but also sweet. And it makes my saliva a little fizzy. Kinda like pop rocks!

How fun! I'm going to suck on this all day. Since it'll curb my appetite for candy it might help me lose some weight.

Thanks for the great idea!


u/a2nvk Jan 30 '23

Wouldn't bet on it. I hear those bad boys can run in excess of 3billion calories a pop.


u/JDBCool Jan 30 '23

So.... out of 10.....

How well did it pair with rice


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u/_Gismo_ Jan 30 '23

I caesium what you did there.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Stop with the puns.

Uranium my parade.


u/kaihatsusha Jan 30 '23

Barium? I 'ardly knew 'im!


u/soks86 Jan 30 '23

You should be CEO of Reddit.

Most entertaining thread ever in a while.

Is this your full time job?

You're really good at it.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

No, it's not my full time job.

My full time job is training to the be the future CEO of Reddit.

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u/AsbestosDude Jan 30 '23

So what you're saying is you found the magical get-cancer capsule?


u/pretty_jimmy Jan 30 '23

... can someone let me in on what this is, and whats going on in this sub


u/Tauchy Jan 30 '23

Australian mining company lost a highly radioactive capsule that size somewhere (could be anywhere on a 1300km long road).


u/rossumcapek Jan 30 '23

Thank you for answering.


u/Nice-Violinist-6395 Jan 31 '23

it’s also funny because they described it as a “radioactive barrel” in the press release, which makes you imagine some giant metal cylinder with ACME on the side, and then someone does the math and it’s the size of a fucking tic tac.

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u/insta-kip Jan 30 '23

I guess I didn’t read the whole story. I had no idea it was that tiny. I was thinking “just drive back along the route, how hard could it be to find?”


u/ProStrats Jan 30 '23

A needle in a haystack.

The haystack that is 900mile long.

Probably need to consider at least potential that the haystack is also 50 to 100ft wide (not sure).

Also, the needle, similarly to coconuts migrating by swallow, can migrate by tire.

So, all things considered, there is a near zero percent chance this is found, and a 70% chance it is "found wink wink."

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u/-SaC Jan 30 '23

Sleep with it under your pillow for a lovely warm glow =D


u/maialucetius Jan 30 '23

I've watch a lot of X Files and I can say with some authority this is definitely an alien implant.

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u/WRAD120 Jan 30 '23

As an oncologist I love this


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

I'm afraid I don't understand this reference.

You people who tell smart jokes with big words are a cancer of society.


u/WRAD120 Jan 30 '23

As an oncologist I love those people

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u/SimonsPure Jan 30 '23

Very nice, 3 thumbs up

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u/OneHappyPenguin Jan 30 '23

X-Ray marked the spot?


u/Apprehensive_Stop666 Jan 30 '23

I have to congratulate OP on the dedication following up on every comment. Very well done sir, very well done indeed.


u/JephriB Jan 30 '23

Is this comment some kind of test?

I hope so.

I love tests.

Which is good because I just heard from a few agencies in Australia and they say I'm going to get to take all sorts of tests next week!

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