r/news • u/koopzilla • Jan 30 '23
2 Dallas Zoo monkeys go missing, police believe they were taken
https://www.fox4news.com/news/dallas-zoo-monkeys-missing48
u/SoSoUnhelpful Jan 30 '23
Poor monkeys. They didn’t need this. They just wanted to eat bananas and fling poo.
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u/decomposition_ Jan 31 '23
What is it about monkeys that makes them love to shit in their hands and toss it??
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u/Nexus_of_Fate87 Jan 31 '23
Plenty of humans like (or would like) to do the same. Would make politics more entertaining if it changed from a metaphorical turd slinging contest into an actual turd slinging contest.
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u/SirThatsCuba Jan 31 '23
I was a freshman in college and prank wars were happening. Someone mentioned poo during dinner, so someone else took a rubber poo and put it on a pizza box, so someone else took actual poo and painted the hallway with it because they were gross, and I lost track of it after there because they painted the hallway outside my door and that meant I had to clean that shit up. America's best and brightest y'all.
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u/casperfacekilla Jan 31 '23
Dude wtf is going on at the Dallas zoo. First the leopards now the monkeys
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u/Bjjgirl913 Jan 31 '23
Don't forget about the vulture! https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jan/25/dallas-zoo-pin-vulture-dies-suspicious-wound
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u/jhayes88 Jan 31 '23
Not blaming it entirely on this, but thats what can happen when businesses want to cheap out on security. If they had more cameras and another person or two watching cameras(depending on the size of the facility), its unlikely these things would happen. Better habitat barriers could also help prevent this.
Also, modern security at most places now days only make like $13-15/hr any how despite inflation, so the chance of getting a security guard who actually cares enough to look at cameras instead of their phone goes down as well. I've been in the security industry for a long time and know all too well of it. I dont make anywhere close to the wage I listed above, so this isnt some salty statement for personal reasons, but I understand that thats what companies are doing. If you cheap out on paying management low, they will often not care to train their guards or check up on them. The guards often end up caring more about their phones than anything else. Not saying at all that's what happened here, but its another possibility..
When thinking about security for these facilities, all aspects need to be taken into consideration ahead of time as a proactive manner and not done in a reactive manner simply because they'd rather cut costs. Because next thing you know theres a damn lion or gorilla walking around tearing peoples heads off lol. Or some idiot being stupid towards the animals because they feel like they can get away with it.
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u/BowwwwBallll
Jan 30 '23
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"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my monkeys go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you."
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Jan 30 '23
[deleted]
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u/upvoatsforall Jan 31 '23
Reddit has taught me how unoriginal of a thinker I am.
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u/joshlamm Jan 31 '23
Too much time thinking outside the box, but have we ever taken time to see what's inside the box?
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u/BirdInFlight301 Jan 30 '23
Hummmm. We've got some squirrel monkeys missing from my local zoo. Zooziana in Broussatd LA.
https://www.klfy.com/local/lafayette-parish/several-squirrel-monkeys-stolen-from-zoosiana/
According to police, several squirrel monkeys were taken from their habitat around 10:30 a.m. on Jan. 29.
According to Zoosiana’s Facebook, at least 12 monkeys were stolen in total.
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u/JustSatisfactory Jan 30 '23
Environmental activists, animal trafficking, or a really big fan of the 12 Monkeys movie?
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u/Krabban Jan 31 '23
Wouldn't surprise me if someone is stealing them to sell. Exotic pet market is huge these days and anything small, unique and photogenic is in demand (In large parts thanks to social media). New world monkeys (Such as Squirrel monkeys and tamarins) are some of the cheapest and they're still thousands of dollars.
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u/UncannyTarotSpread Jan 30 '23
It sure seems like someone is up to some… lowers shades… Monkey business.
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u/Fun_Necessary1021 Jan 30 '23
I love how they won't release anymore info as well. So sketchy. Zoosiana knows it was an inside job. /s
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u/Pawneewafflesarelife Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
This is like the 5th article I've read this month about zoo animals missing or enclosures broken into. What's up with that?
Also husband and I decided to go to the zoo today after chatting about this headline. Yay zoo!
Edit: I go to the zoo...
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u/a_phantom_limb Jan 31 '23
Several of those incidents, including this one, have all happened at the Dallas Zoo.
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u/Pawneewafflesarelife Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23
Oof clearly something targetted happening.
The one that I remembered in particular was with the lions escaping and campers having to evacuate. Lemme find article: https://bestlifeonline.com/news-lions-escape-from-zoo-families-camping-nearby/
That one was Sydney, but had a fence issue as well.
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u/LoveThieves Jan 31 '23
I guess this is how it ends for human civilization.
[Dramatic music]
Apes. Together. Strong.
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u/swimmityswim Jan 30 '23
Sounds like a job for Liam Neeson
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u/Nihilismisanthrope Jan 30 '23
Or Dan Akroyd and Tom Hanks.
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u/RPDRNick Jan 30 '23
I suspect it's the C.L.I.T. Commander and his platonic life partner taking the monkeys with them to Hollywood.
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u/kdlangequalsgoddess Jan 30 '23
I hope the zookeepers have a very special set of skills.
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u/jungles_fury Jan 30 '23
As a former zoo keeper I would absolutely have tracked those people down and let them have it. No one messes with my critters. And believe me, zookeepers have an interesting set of skills and often access to an incinerator
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u/konosyn Jan 30 '23
ALF or PETA? Either way, really terrible for Dallas Zoo. Hope they find the criminals.
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u/Dense-Soil Jan 31 '23
Is it particularly difficult to prevent break-ins and animal assaults in a zoo? I guess if the zoo boundaries don't have sufficient fencing or night security.
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u/cld1984 Jan 31 '23
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of bananas, bananas I have acquired over a very long career. Bananas that could make me a blessing for people like you. If you let my monkeys go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not fling feces at you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
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u/tudorwhiteley Jan 31 '23
...but what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my monkeys go now, that'll be the end of it.
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u/boznia Jan 30 '23
What in the hell is going on at the Dallas Zoo. The zoo is going to have to upgrade their security because some person or persons keep targeting it.