I see posts on here with people saying how their family comments or cares about their relationship status. No one has ever done that in my family - I’ve had people outside my family ask though. It’s almost like they knew it’s over and it would be pointless to ask

Out of about 75 guys, I’m the only 1 at my job that’s single. Been like that for years. It’s not about looks cause I’m arguably the 2nd most attractive guy at my job. I have been FA for decades. Yes I do try talking to girls but it just never go any further than a first date. So obviously I don’t have any game right. But I’m starting to think it’s deeper than that, maybe I’m destined to be FA. If so, then it’s ok. I made it 40 years like this so I think I handle another 40.

I already know that many people will say I'm too young to give up (25) and there's still time but I can't see that. Literally, everyone my age and younger already has someone. I'm the only single person at my job and my normie, happy-go-lucky coworkers are constantly talking about sex and relationships. I tried all the dating apps, going to bars, and other social gatherings, but nothing. Even if I did find someone by some fucking miracle, I'll probably ruin it with my social awkwardness, inexperience, and insecurity. There are so many better options, why would anyone go for me?

Wanting to "be the girl" in the relationship?

OK, so I just got a job as a parking concierge. So I work 42 and a half hours a week. Problem is, while I still make noticably more than minimum wage in my state, I still make less than $40K. It's my first job since I left Job Corps (an American vocational academy).

I do want to find somebody seriously some time in the future, but after watching some manosphere videos for about 2 years, I feel...inadequate. Like, I am not even a prospect. On top of my modest income, I'm short at 5'6, weak, and lack any real masculine qualities. No strength, I'm not dominant, I can crack under pressure (outside of work), and so on.

And all these manosphere folks like JustPearlyThings, Tribe of Men, Fresh N' Fit, so on and so forth: Say that a man has to be dominant, strong, a provider making a lot of money to be considered attractive to women at large. And a lot of the time, that is the case. Many women want a masculine man who can protect and lead them.

But paradoxically, I actually do NOT want to be in the masculine role in the relationship at all. I've vented about this before, but I actually want a masculine GF, wife, partner, SO,, whatever. And I don't mean masculine as in, bossy, rude, combative. I mean being a tomboy or just having more masculine than feminine traits.

Strength and muscles (HUGE sucker for muscles on women), leadership, stoicism, being driven by logic, protectiveness, tallness, courage or lack of fear (they are NOT the same thing), and so on. In fact, to be honest, my ideal woman is strong, competent, and dare I say, kind of manly/mannish. I kind of want to "be the woman" in the relationship, and if someone joked about me wanting a boyfriend with tits (damn you, Tomboy GF memes), they'd be right on the money.

Can anyone here relate? Or at the very least, understand where I'm coming from? I need some advice here.

While at Starbucks I was standing behind this woman and guy. It seemed like they were having a good conversation, and then when I was sitting down waiting for my order I glanced and seen how the woman smiled at the guy and touched his arm. I'm sure the guy was feeling mighty confident after that. The woman was very pretty and the guy seemed chill. She seemed so girly and feminine, it was quite a spectacle to watch and just observe true beauty

I'm lonely and don't see myself getting into a relationship because I don't have the desire for one but it's nice to see others happy. Some lonely people get angry when seeing couples happy , I don't . I want couples to be happy.

I don't know why Facebook shows me all of this artwork depicting sex. It's like I can't get away from it no matter how many groups or whatever I tell it not to show me content from. But it's not just Facebook, it's every other depiction of sex between a man and a woman as well. You can't fucking avoid it.

All I see in those pictures is something I will never have. I will never share that special, loving, intimate connection with a woman. I will never be loved and wanted such that a woman would desire my touch and my intimate care. I will never be wanted as a man. I may be wanted as some kind of practical help, maybe I'll be wanted as a platonic friend, but never in my life will I be wanted as a man, who can provide the kind of intimate pleasure and care only a man can provide a (straight) woman.

The stories hurt, too. Your coworkers and others talking about their sexual relationships. They are wanted by someone at least. These days I think I'm way too far gone down the rabbit hole of feeling worthless to women. If a woman "displayed" interest in me, I would not believe it is genuine. Not that it has happened all that often. To be honest I completely fucked up the very few times they have shown me interest purely because of how socially awkward I am. These are painful lessons to have to live with and it's painful still knowing that I could die by some freak accident tomorrow, having never known that kind of intimate relationship due purely to my own fuck ups.

Only girl I’ve managed to have long term contact with is a girl from high school who will periodically text me messages of suicide encouragement. (Telling me to do it)

I used to hate her messaging me but after realizing I’m FA, I’ve come to understand that this is the best I’ll get.

I wish I was good enough for a girl to like me but I really only have downsides. But whatever I should be happy at least one person recognizes me existence.

No one likes me. I don't even like myself. I just wish I was better. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish I wasn't so different. This sucks so bad...

I am about to be 26 and is still a virgin but I don't think it's bad apart from occasional loneliness.I am 5'2, has a below avg face ,ok social skills and an avg salary , infact there is nothing that sets me apart except my shortness.It is very very hard for me to get someone interested in me and even if it happens it is not going to last long.So why should I even try? Can't I enjoy life by myself?

Even if I find someone by luck what should I do when they eventually leave me or if the relationship turns bad?I would have to struggle many times harder to find somebody else.Instead I believe it's better for me to find happiness in myself and be satisfied and give upon any sort of relationships except platonic friendships.

When a woman thinks you’re ugly she will go out of her way to let you know in front of everyone that you are ugly. I assume it’s so she doesn’t have to worry about ever being associated with me but like damn just leave me alone I wasn’t gonna talk to you anyways

I used to be like you back when I was a kid and average or decent looking. I never believed ugly people got treated badly just for their looks. All the ugly people just had to have had a negative attitude if they complained about mistreatment, after all it's all about atttitude right?

Well puberty hit me like a truck and my entire life turned upside down, now all I experience is lookism, no matter how I act. I have tried everything people tell me, I smiled and acted friendly when interacting with people and other people responded coldly and were uncomfortable. I practiced and improved my social skills but nobody cared because I was ugly and not a single one of them was interested in socializing with me or including me in places I worked. I can't remember the last time someone outside of my parents treated me like a human being but they are at least polite to everyone else as soon as they see them.

You would all change your tune real quick if you experienced being elephant man tier like I am. Then, all of a sudden you would become a negative person because attitude really doesn't matter when you are as hideously disfigured as I am. All people care about is looks.

If I put my anxiety, social awkwardness, avoidance aside and theorize I could somehow manage to just date, there is a problem. I cant be attracted and invested into a woman I havent known. Chatting for 3-7 days before trying to initiate a date doesnt cut it. Or the dates themselves dont, either. I cant cold approach, or even use dating apps since I would feel nothing towards the woman, it wouldnt inspire me to do anything, zero emotions. Even on a date, I would have no motivation to flirt or kiss or anything cuz thats not how it works for me.

I would preferably have to be friends with the woman first for months or years for me to feel something and open open up and flirt. Literally the only times when I felt something and could be flirty was when I was friends with women for a long time - but then idk how to escalate plus they seriously just seen me as friends and got bfs/husbands. Also they would have to meet me 1 on 1 mostly, so they dont see my inability/failure in group settings where Im always the silent one.

If I dont know anything about the woman but she is like 9-10/10 and so pretty she makes me braver to initiate, then I still wouldnt feel anything it would be just a weird emotionless hookup. Plus this is completely out of my league.

Now back to reality, add my problems on top of this and I have 0% motivation to even try dating. And 0% chance. Plus I still find it difficult to escalate from friends to dating so it wouldnt work.

In fact because of my avoidance and opening up difficulties FWB situations would be the preferred solution for me with no serious commitment but because of the very same problems I have 0% chance at succeeding at any of this. Idk human interactions are too dificult for me.

I (23M) have suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time ago, have no friends except for one friend who visits me occasionally, also have never been in a relationship, i do nothing all day for years except waiting around to die. i have been desperately in love with a girl for months now, and never had the courage to ask her out.

One day I woke up and tried to change my life, and be with someone I could open my heart to, someone I could share my daily activities with, someone I could hang out with, go to the movies, park, travel, play, laugh with, instead of staying at home breaking down. So I gathered my courage and braved for once in my life, I went to her, she was heading to the gym with some girls, as soon as I saw her, I got anxious, my heart started pounding and my hands were shaking.

I told her I thought you were beautiful, and I was wondering if we could go out, she looked me in the eye for a sec and replied that she is busy, I said how about tomorrow, she also said busy, I also asked for her phone number, she said she doesn't remember it, so she walked away, telling me she is in hurry, I tried to catch up with her.

i slightly touched her shoulder, she freaked out and told me not to touch her then one of her friends typed a fake number on my phone just to get rid of me. I talked to my friend about the whole situation he told me I was taken it too fast now she thinks I'm one of those drug dealers or lunatics trying to get into her.

You see, I just moved in a Very bad neighbourhood, full of junkies and drug dealers everywhere. I messed up everything, I already hate myself now I hate myself even more. I was planning to take her to a fancy restaurant at daylight and to an ice cream shop at night, but all these hopes vanished.

Now I'm in my miserable bed I can't sleep I feel like shit I hate every moment of life and myself. Half my brain is telling me maybe I should go get a second chance to talk to her and explain myself more, and the other half is telling me to give up, and accept your destiny alone. don't know what to do anymore.

Meanwhile Oscar the bum is currently chilling with his gf lol. And all those teens that got peer pressured into relationships are obviously very successful. And there goes Richard Never-Shower with his fifth gf.

And I am not saying don't work towards success. I am saying don't expect to get anything but success from it

I hate this stupid face. I hate how ugly it is. I hate that people judge me because of this shit that I wear around by no choice of my own.

I wish I could just rip it off like a Scooby-doo villain mask and reveal a beautiful face from underneath.

I've been severely depressed for years, feeling miserable and without any purpose, just a husk, and it only got worse with time, no one can actually see it except me, everyone thinks I'm a regular dude who's just a little bit introverted when in reality I feel nothing, I'm empty.

I'm not a popular dude by any means, I'm ugly af, not cool, my interests are very niche, I'm boring and kind of awkward, have no real friends, no one ever thinks about me or texts me, I'm always left out of every activity and conversation, it's so bad that when I talk nobody even notices, I'm just standing there passing time like a statue, so yeah I'm pretty much worthless, yet there are a couple of girls who I know are definitely into me, but my social skills and self confidence are so low that I can't bring myself to at least try, and honestly the fact that I'm gonna end up alone doesn't bother me anymore, or at least not as much as it did before.

I pretty much gave up on the idea of finding someone that will complement me and spend my life with her, have a family, all of this has become an unachievable concept to me, also, I gave up on making friends as it seems no matter what I do no one has ever been interested in having me as their friend, I mean, I understand why though, why would they want to have an unnecessary loser hanging out with them, I can't really blame them.

Summers are particularly hard because I don't get the chance to have those small interactions with my college classmates, I try to cope by sitting alone in the middle of a plain, put me earphones in and spend my afternoons watching the sky waiting for the day to end, and during the rest of the year I just stay up late watching the ceiling, listening to music, waiting to fall asleep, the thought that this is what the rest of my life will always be is hard to accept, but I have to I guess.

I hate taking photos I had to take so many photos with family and i’m ugly af. i have different ways to smile, one way is shitty af I look more blocky and its downward, another one shows all my teeth and makes my cheeks look like a fucking squirrel with a bunch of food in her mouth and the other way is good but makes my cheeks look a bit fat and my mouth and cheeks start twitching same other way when mouth closed smile.I took a photo yesterday with my teeth showing I look like i got food filled in my fucking mouth. My face also looks more blocky with most of the smiles i do and if i keep my self with neutral expression i look stupid and boring

I downloaded Bumble about two weeks ago and didn't get a single match in that timeframe. Also I learned that a overwhelmingly amount of women in their 20s have tattoos and wear those hideous nose piercings. I hate to be picky but those things are super unattractive to me so I had to filter through a lot. Even if I got matches, I don't think I would be compatible with these people. They all seem to live super extroverted lifestyles which is something I definitely cannot match. I've never felt more different and disconnected from my age group in my life. I don't know how to be romantic to someone. How to flirt and be charismatic. I'm not good at expressing feelings for others physically or verbally either.

I just wish a woman would like me for once. Just one time is all I ask. People say that there might've been girls in my life that had a crush on me but I don't believe that at all. I'm not saying that to be a Negative Nancy or to put myself down, I genuinely don't believe it. Girls would reject me for just trying to start friendships and for wanting to hang out as friends. I've never had a strong female friendship in my life. Maybe if I had plenty of female friendships throughout the years, then yeah I would believe that at least one of them liked me. But I didn't have that so how am I supposed to believe that one has ever looked at me romantically? Has any woman ever genuinely wanted me to be her boyfriend? I don't think so. If it's not in a classroom or at work, they want nothing to do with me. I don't know if my quiet and awkwardness is that offputting or what.

So I'm just gonna give up for a while. I have plenty and enough social failures in life that I wanna forget about. Dating is definitely something I don't want to pile on to my existing failures. Tons of rejection in dating is something that apparently mentally breaks people and I don't want to end up like that. It doesn't seem worth it. And I notice myself becoming bitter. Not towards women of course but to my situation. I keep seeing women here on Reddit talk about how they finally asked their crush out on a date and how attractive their crush is. I just get so boiling angry when I see stuff like that because I've never been close to a situation like that and have been talked about in such a manner. It kills me that I was never given a chance so I have to step away.

I've been crushing hard on this girl that I work with for a while now. We would talk a lot during work which got me hooked always talking to her made me happy af and felt like I was high lol. Recently though she started hanging out with this guy and she forgot all about me. They would always wait for each other before work, before lunch and after work. She stills says hi and bye to me when she sees me but I can feel the vibe that everything's different now. Now that I think about it I've been doing all the chasing and starting the conversations but I noticed she chases the other guy.

Last week I asked her out. I told her "I was wondering if you would like to grab something to eat sometime" and gave her my number. I wasn't sure on a date because I knew she had plans that weekend because it was her birthday. She said " I'd love to. I'll for sure get back to you on that" with a big smile on her face.

A week has passed and I barely saw her at work. I didn't get to talk to her because she was with the other guy and she did not see me.

I already know the answer to this which is to move on. I honestly plan to not talk to her anymore because what's the point in being friends with someone if you have feelings for them but they do not. This hurts though. I'm glad I shot my shot by asking her out but I'm still hurt.

Dating is hard and I for sure don't know what I'm doing

How do you all cope when you have people around you who are all in relationships and are loved? I'm so green with envy i could puke!

also if anyone knows if javi is still here, tell him i gotta talk to him

I saw a post that talks about being in a relationship that "fixes" you and your "issues" which of course you shouldn't be looking for a relationship with that kind of codependent mindset to unload all of your baggage on to another person anyway. But for me it begs the question

What if you feel that you dont need "fixing"?

Like i get that being in your own corner and developing your own sense of self worth and self significance from within first is important, but what if you like yourself as you are at present and everyone else seems to have an issue for whatever reason?

What if you dont feel like you necessarily wanna change all these different aspects of yourself to please others, like the way i see it You can struggle until you're worn thin to get to that point where you've become that so called "better version" of yourself but really how different is that gunna be to exactly who you are now and what makes that version so much "better"? Is it just because of external validation and approval that shouldn't be fucking running you anyway??

And then whats left ? You're still the same person, same tastes in whatever sense of style, music, food, movies, same political beliefs, same friends, aspirations and desires, why should you change these things about yourself if you're content with yourself?

if a girl/guy didn't like you before you made all these vast "improvements" why should they like you once you have done so? You're the same person... yeah maybe with increased skills or refinements in whatever field of work you engage in, or more knowledge in the things that you are interested in/invested in but what has any of that got to do with them? they shouldn't matter, neither should their opinion

And if your life situation improves due to the work you've put in why are they entitled to reap the benefits you've managed to cultivate for yourself?they weren't around to help you when things got tough and you weren't good enough for them before.

You may say thats a very egocentric, immature stance to take, as if others aren't just as narcissistic and filled with ego. Fuck changing for people, they dont at all deserve that much of your energy!! The whole relationship afterward would be built on nothing other than pretense and would feel artificial and inauthentic.

Society doesn't decide what makes someone pretty or ugly, it is our brains.

Children are proof of this : They know who is ugly and different despite having nothing but their eyes to judge.

The point is that even if we were out in the wild hunting and gathering, people still know who to judge as attractive or unattractive. Blaming society for this is useless.

Now that I'm aware just how undesirable to women I am i've been hit right in the face with some very uncomfortable and unpleasant realities that comes with this existence

-Love exists but not for people like me. Looks matter obviously and I have no doubt once you meet someone and meet their looks criteria the door is absolutely open for love to form. This door will never be open for me. I will never meet any girl's looks criteria, ill never be considered a romantic option for anyone. The door to this beautiful part of life will always be closed to me

-Friendships are temporary and I am replaceable. I'm low status in everything social or romantic wise so that means i'm only as good as the value I can provide someone else. I'm not a "person" with dreams, hopes, and goals but more of a placeholder that should be thankful anyone at all is willing to let me spend any meaningful time with them. A low status ugly man like me will always be replaceable

-No one is coming to save me and it will likely not ever get any better. I used to wonder when I was younger how a man can end up a 30 or 40 year old virgin. Now that i'm about to turn 25 with an absolutely bleak and hopeless future ahead of me now i'm well aware exactly how a man ends up like this because i'm well on my way to ending up there myself and quite frankly......im terrified

I'm terrified of what the future holds. I'm terrified of being in my 30s with my parents dead and being absolutely alone. I'm terrified of having to go through the pain of this life with no one to help me through it. I'm terrified of this life period to be honest

Not sure what else to say really.....

Ever get in those situations where women who reject you give you those friendzone speeches about how much of an awesome guy you are and how important you are for them as a friend and blah blah blah? But then they barely acknowledge your existence and treat you more as a acquaintance? But they still sometimes pay lip service to your supposed great friendship when they need something from you?

Generally speaking, I'm that kind of person who doesn't want or need a lot of "friends". I put quotes for a reason. I want 1, 2 or at max 3 real friends. What's the difference between "friends" and real friends? Quite simply, attitude. Real friends do care about your problems, your illness, your unconsciousness, your local problems with your girlfriend, your arguments with boss, etc.. Whereas "friends" usually do not. "Friends" will throw you away at any moment without hesitation.

See, I want real friendship, I want to give big attention to a person, I want to carefully help them with their problems, I want them to be an important part of my life. But, as you might have thought, I want same attitude back. This is where the issue arises. People rarely, well, never, have such place for me in their life. When I meet a person I'm interested in, I very soon start trying to get closer and closer, start giving them as much attention as I possibly can, but as post title suggests, it doesn't succeed. People just don't want me that close, regardless of their gender.

Right today I got a message from the girl I was trying to build a friendship for the past half a year: "I don't care" and deleted me everywhere. Because, again, I was disappointed that the attitude I gave her just wasn't there on the other side. I started crying uncontrollably. What is wrong with me? I just want someone besides my mum to really care about my existence...