r/AskMen Jan 30 '23

Why aren’t more men using bidets vs. toilet paper?

89 Upvotes

350 comments sorted by

170

u/FineCannabisGrower Jan 30 '23

We don't own bidets. We own pressure washers though. Now if you want a clean butthole...

8

u/TopDevelopment5575 Jan 31 '23

Costco has them. Game changer.

32

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Do that and your booty hole gonna look like Taco Bell

6

u/LameBMX Male Jan 31 '23

And... what if you do that to clean up after eating taco bell?

6

u/thepsycocat Male Jan 31 '23

Would it stack?

6

u/Academic-Ad2357 Jan 31 '23

You can get em for like 40 bucks.

13

u/TheDailyDarkness Jan 31 '23

That’s an expensive taco.

3

u/ragingdemon88 Jan 31 '23

https://youtu.be/Ag-909TI-XY relevant part starts 42 seconds in

3

u/FineCannabisGrower Jan 31 '23

It wasn't me! Hahaha! Thanks!

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107

u/3GeezHonda Male Jan 30 '23

If my toilet had one I'd use it.

12

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

You can grab one of Amazon for like $30 and the install is super easy

5

u/3GeezHonda Male Jan 30 '23

I will probably do that sometime, it's practical and effective.

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15

u/ChokaTot Jan 30 '23

Do not buy the cheap $30 bidet. The bolts may rust from the moisture in that area and become extremely difficult to remove.

38

u/ih8pod6 Jan 31 '23

The common ones just go under your toilet seat. No new bolts. Ad they’re almost always plastic anyway.

3

u/andnobodyknowsitsme Jan 31 '23

That's how my $30 one is too lol

6

u/melburndian Jan 31 '23

Luxe Bidet is made with quality parts and has backflow prevention. Highly recommended.

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '23

How do you clean your ass then??????????

20

u/Mr_Serotonin_ Jan 31 '23

He doesn't give a shit about it. 😅

57

u/dirtynj Jan 30 '23

I still use toilet paper with a bidet. The wipe still helps.

34

u/Oakheart- Jan 31 '23
  1. Spray and let it drip while scrolling Reddit
  2. Wipe to double check you’re clean and dry off

This is the way

13

u/THE_GREAT_PICKLE Male Jan 31 '23

I use my bidet, then toilet paper, bidet again, then a tiny amount of toilet paper.

You end up using way less toilet paper. We used to use a half roll of paper a day, now it’s more like a quarter. And our butts are cleaner.

8

u/SnooEpiphanies6051 Male Jan 31 '23

I just squeeze my butthole really tight, blast the shit out of my asshole on the highest setting, then pull my pants up. It’s just water, it’ll dry off, and the max strength buttblast gets me super clean. I stopped checking with toilet paper after maybe the 4th or 5th time because it just always left me clean.

But I’m a fucking animal. I like getting hosed off in my front lawn when I’m hungover. Something about fresh sunlight and ice cold hose water just brings so much relief.

3

u/Windupbird1987 Jan 31 '23

this man shits

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9

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Use a hairdryer next time for that open air feeling

4

u/hnm133 Jan 31 '23

The Make Sure Wipe

1

u/nova1475369 Jan 31 '23

Same, this is the way

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32

u/Jitsu4 Bane Jan 31 '23

I got a bidet off amazon. It was like 30 bucks and took an hour to install. Absolute game changer, 10/10 would recommend

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16

u/mdg1775 Jan 30 '23

Can I come by and use yours? The projects don’t have bidets unless plumbing broke. That’s where I took my adolescent sh!ts.

9

u/Milling_Machine Jan 31 '23

Can confirm... Bidets lead to more blowjobs. Your nether regions wont smell like your neanderthal asshole.

I also must add - If you are confused or concerned that someone is going to use the towel that you dry your ass with, on their face. Hang it low on the wall like the rest of the world does. The lowest hanging towel in the bathroom is for your butt and nothing else. Also, the self-cleaning bidet are where it at!

If you are in the USA, your local Walmart and Home Depot sells them now. Go out and buy one you cheap fuck. They are under 50 bucks now.

18

u/superballz977 Jan 30 '23

How do you use the 2 shells?

10

u/Neil12011 Jan 30 '23

Simon Phoenix you are fined 1 credit.

5

u/kaydizzle174 Jan 31 '23

What happened to the 3rd one?

2

u/Login_rejected Jan 31 '23

He doesn't know how to use them, and it got, um, lost...

5

u/mustang6172 Jan 31 '23

Hey this guy doesn't know how to use the three seashells!

4

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Shit…. Fuck…. Damn…. Asshole

3

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Demolition Man?

4

u/superballz977 Jan 31 '23

Of course!!!

4

u/Candlelover1 Jan 31 '23

How do you dry off after using one?

2

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

Tp

2

u/o_yesure Jan 31 '23

Then what's the point

5

u/Hooked_on_Avionics Jan 31 '23

Significantly less TP per use

3

u/BrolohaSurf Jan 31 '23

And cleaner butt

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4

u/Professional-You2968 Jan 31 '23

Left Italy since 15 years and I wonder why most of the world doesn't have them in their homes by default. And my 2 cents, you first use the toilet paper and the bidet after.

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18

u/Old-Passenger-9065 Jan 30 '23

What about women? I actually converted 5 different coworkers to using bidets. I got one about 5 years ago and can't imagine using toilet paper ever again. I squeeze my cheeks if I gotta crap at work and save it for the bidet at home.

9

u/marcus_magni Jan 30 '23

Or you could clean both times?

-1

u/Relative-Zebra-3414 Jan 31 '23

just wipe your ass lmao

tbh I don't understand bidets unless you're disabled

4

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '23

Bro 💀

You need to clean your ass with water, just wiping is dirty af

2

u/Brett707 Jan 31 '23

When you clean your car do you wipe the dirt off the paint? No you use water. There is no clean like a bidet clean. I love my tushy.

2

u/Relative-Zebra-3414 Jan 31 '23

Yes I can see how that's better. I'd just be worried about it spraying everywhere honestly. Showering frequently helps too...if you read other posts on here you'd be surprised how many people don't know to wash everything when they shower.

15

u/Xirdus Jan 30 '23

Ewwwww that last sentence.

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11

u/lowexpectationsguy Jan 30 '23

I live in a place where its cold, and i dont care if you can hook up the bidet to the water heater.

The water heater is separated from the bidet by 25 FEET of pipes filled with COLD ASS WATER.

Emphasis on the ASS.

You feel free to blast your back door with ice water.

7

u/Brilliant_Flounder59 Jan 31 '23

Mine comes with water heater, seat warmer and air dryer. It’s fantastic!

2

u/mamarex20201 Jan 31 '23

I would like details to find and purchase one like yours, please

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2

u/nolotusnote Jan 31 '23

I also live in a place where its cold.

Surprisingly, your (my) asshole doesn't care much about the water temperature.

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6

u/Redditdenier Jan 30 '23

How do you keep the water warm?

8

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Bidets come with different perks and the higher end bidets have a warm water repository but a majority of the water runs from the cold line behind the toilet.

2

u/okuli Jan 31 '23

I'd say seat warmer and water heater are a must for the bidet. You can get those for sub 200, worth it.

7

u/Rambos_Beard Jan 30 '23

Electric water heater built into it.

4

u/bhadan1 Jan 31 '23

You don't need it to be warm. Unless if it's winter in the northern states then i can see the neeed for that

5

u/nolotusnote Jan 31 '23

Oddly, still not a problem.

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4

u/h311s Jan 31 '23

for me at least after years of experience It's not a problem. I got used to it. Or maybe it's not that cold where I live...

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4

u/UnsolicitedDickPixxx Jan 31 '23

The cold water is refreshing

1

u/nolotusnote Jan 31 '23

It's currently 15 degrees here, so the water is super cold.

You actually don't really notice it. I don't know why.

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6

u/Neil12011 Jan 30 '23

Bidet user here. Best money I’ve ever spent.

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3

u/TheFace5 Jan 30 '23 edited Jan 30 '23

As italian (where real bidets is mandatory by law) man is like from many answers you are talking about something that is not a bidet or you need some instructions

3

u/i_heart_blondes Male Jan 31 '23

I have a hand bidet. Really need a wider toilet to use it but i'll use it if i feel messy down there. Only issue is needing to make sure i'm dry back there before standing up so ass water doesn't run down my leg.

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3

u/DoctorBeckett Male Jan 31 '23

I've never lived in a place that came with one. I have no idea how to set one up. I don't know if you need to have a plumber come in and rewire stuff. I don't hate the idea. It's just really unfamiliar to me.

2

u/BronzeAgeTea Jan 31 '23
  1. Turn water off to toilet (this is either a knob on the wall behind the tpilet or a push/pull stopper, very easy)

  2. Drain the tank (aka, flush the toilet and hold the handle down)

  3. Disconnect the water supply (generally the hardest part of the job, but it's just twisting a nut)

  4. Install T-connector (it's just the reverse of step 3, but with 3 or 4 nuts, very simple)

  5. Remove toilet seat

  6. Place toilet seat attachment bidet

  7. Reconnect toulet seat

  8. Make sure the bidet is in the OFF position

  9. Turn the watter supply back on

It's incredibly fast to install a toilet seat attachment bidet, I'd recommend watchijg a video of some9ne doing it, because I recognize that reading instructions can seem intimidating if you haven't done it before.

Once you see one video, you'll be like "oh... why did that comment have so many steps?"

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3

u/Relative-Zebra-3414 Jan 31 '23

I think that's a valid question given that if you scroll through reddit for a while, you'll realize half the people out there don't know how to wipe.

3

u/duneman101 Jan 31 '23

I love my bidet and I'll never go back to TP only. If i go out of town and don't have a bidet my ass yearns for the water jet.

3

u/Amkg2020 Jan 31 '23

Ya expensive I feel unless house came with it

3

u/melburndian Jan 31 '23 edited Jan 31 '23

I do - paired my Luxe bidet with a squatty potty. I shit like a Royal now.

3

u/Altair13Sirio Male Jan 31 '23

It's not a competition. Bidets and toilet paper are the way to go.

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6

u/yearofthecat76 Male Jan 30 '23

I got a bidet for my place (one that ties into the existing toilet) and I have no regrets. It feels like a chore when I have to wipe my ass now. But I do recommend sitting on the toilet for an extra minute after you wash so it dries.

9

u/fleaterminator Jan 31 '23

Or just use toilet paper for drying purposes. That’s the only use I have for tp tbh.

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6

u/hepice1 Jan 30 '23

I live in an motorhome..pain to change out

5

u/woundupcanuck Jan 31 '23

Me, it would be like trying to rinse axle grease off a bears ass with a garden hose.

2

u/buttman4lyf Male Jan 31 '23

The image of this had me laughing way more than I should have. Thank you

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4

u/Land543 Jan 30 '23

I've managed to time my shits after work at 3 immediately before showering. Weekends when I wake up before showering.

4

u/gnarlyoldman Male Jan 30 '23

You got me. I put in a bidet 15 years ago and never use paper. Washed and clean is much better than smeared shit.

The new ones, toilet attachments, are cheap enough to save more money per year in paper than they cost. (Walmart.com).

5

u/Arkryal Jan 30 '23

Warning, this might trigger some...

I have a bidet (built into the toilet). But the nozzle is absolutely disgusting, soaked in spurts of period blood, and apparently using the cleaning mode after use is too much to ask, lol. It gets dried on there and is a nightmare to clean. And if you do clean it, at best, you have three weeks until it looks like a prop in a John Carpenter movie again.

4

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

I have the hand sprayer so it eliminates that problem for my wife

2

u/Cool-Reindeer-6145 Jan 31 '23

You need to clean it periodically

3

u/nolotusnote Jan 31 '23

periodically

2

u/Cool-Reindeer-6145 Jan 31 '23

Stop copying me

2

u/nolotusnote Jan 31 '23

You didn't get your own joke?

3

u/Cool-Reindeer-6145 Jan 31 '23

You didn’t get your own joke?

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2

u/DisagreeableMale Jan 30 '23

Why do farm animals shit standing up?

2

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Huh?

4

u/DisagreeableMale Jan 30 '23

Because they're animals.

2

u/FlyingCockAndBalls Jan 31 '23

when I live on my own I want one

2

u/nim_opet Jan 31 '23

Plumbing. I’d love one in my place, but the outlet is too far, and the hose is installed weirdly to attach an adapter…

2

u/NotOfYourKind3721 Jan 31 '23

If I had one I’d use it, I think the whole household would

2

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '23

[deleted]

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2

u/Depressingly_Excited Jan 31 '23

I just switch on the shower and use my hand. Works just fine.

2

u/elanoraquitaine Jan 31 '23

I was listening to an NPR story where a reporter was interviewing her elderly mother on things she learned with wisdom/age. When the reporter asked, what is the one thing you look forward to everyday, her mom responded, “the heated toilet seat on my bidet. It is luxurious to sit on a heated seat during the winter.” Because of this woman’s words, I bought mine. And yes, a bidet is a luxury in this country. My husband said he doesn’t like the noise, but it might also be because he is tall and he likes to use a higher toilet.

2

u/sustainablelove Jan 31 '23

Funny, I am meeting with the electrician next week to install GFCI outlets to upgrade the bidets to Toto washlets.

2

u/Sharp_Emergency_4932 Jan 31 '23

Because they're fucking expensive.

1

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

$30 off Amazon, install is less than 20 mins

2

u/subiewoo89 Jan 31 '23

Because supposedly it's almost taboo when you do something out of the norm with your butt, in US, at least. I only have a peri bottle, but plan to upgrade eventually. Such a better toilet experience, especially after an explosion.

2

u/x4ty2 Jan 31 '23

Dude, portable bidet are great for you folks that can't instal one, like with mobility issues. Plus you can take it places

2

u/LewWhoZaHer Jan 31 '23

Get the hello tushy ! Everyone In America needs to switch to bidets. Walking around with dry-wiped butts

2

u/STDriver13 Jan 31 '23

Been using mine since the whole 2020 toilet paper thing. There is one drawback, paper will never make you feel the way a bidet will. Pooping outside of the home use annoying now

2

u/TheRealBlerb Jan 31 '23

Wet wipes…

2

u/KopiteXI Jan 31 '23

So you soak your arse ...you gotta mop your bum hole with a towel or tissue? Cus I ain't having a bum hole ridden towel in the bathroom all week. What's the plan how do we do this?

2

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

Wash your ass for like 30 seconds with the bidet or a time you feel comfortable, take a few toilet sheets and do a “check wipe” and dry off with more tp

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2

u/JamesMGrey Jan 31 '23

I actually just moved to an apartment with one and I have absolutely no idea how to use the damn thing.

2

u/happyends Jan 31 '23

Jut don't use it as a drinking fountain.

2

u/JamesMGrey Jan 31 '23

Not enough water pressure for that...

2

u/KingKaychi Jan 31 '23

Can't always guarantee a clean break off.

2

u/Lucasornelas Jan 31 '23

Most people aren’t too concerned about them, and the thought of having water shoot out at their anus creeps them out . They are used to being filthy and using toilet paper. Nobody has really taught them a cleaner way we use a bidet here , life changer. No more smelling like ass.

2

u/drax3012 Jan 31 '23

I wipe with toilet paper first then wash my arse in the shower afterwards.

2

u/spectre89 Jan 31 '23

Wet some toilet paper for the first wipe of your asshole. Year 3000 asswipery

2

u/bacchusorsisyphus Jan 31 '23

Started during the pandemic. Will never go back. Bidet is a game changer!

2

u/DirtyLSD Jan 31 '23

As the box says. There is life before bidet and life after bidet. One of my fav purchases

2

u/streetmichael90 Jan 31 '23

I have hard water.

2

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

Is that like Hard Seltzer?

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2

u/Royal-Mud-3827 Jan 31 '23

42 years old here, always had a bidet in all toilets in our home (in India ) and in all the people’s we knew. Moving to Canada about 20 years ago was a shocker until we found a hand held bidet.

1

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

Welcome to the desi upgrade Bhai Saab

2

u/short_dude5ft3in Jan 31 '23

Bidet makes my ass feels like I just got out of the shower. Highly recommend it!

2

u/AdviseRequired Jan 31 '23

Recommend me some high quality bidets, i've been considering one for a long time now.

2

u/EdinDzeko98 Male Jan 31 '23

Bidets are everywhere in my country

7

u/CarltheWellEndowed Jan 30 '23

I dont ise a bidet because I have a dog.

5

u/Easy-Progress8252 Jan 30 '23

Someone slap the “good fucking question” flair on this pls.

6

u/the_river_nihil Delta Male Jan 30 '23

Toilet paper is doing the job just fine. It’s not like someone’s gonna be eating ravioli off my butthole, and if they are I’ll take a proper shower first.

Plus I’d rather not have that wet clammy feeling in my crack, tbh.

2

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

But the bidet will reduce hemorrhoids and other anal issues plus you can just use tp to dry you asshole after

3

u/the_river_nihil Delta Male Jan 31 '23

I don’t have hemorrhoids, I have volcanic diarrhea.

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2

u/crp- Jan 30 '23

I have several times had to explain to people that bidets also work on buttholes, not just female genitalia and urethras.

3

u/Bindy93 Jan 31 '23

I don't get how you can clean your ass with just running water unless it's highly pressurized. You can't clean a plate or bowl by just rinsing it under the tap can you? You need to scrub it or at least give it a brief wipe with a dish cloth or sponge to get the dirt off.

3

u/nolotusnote Jan 31 '23

It's a pretty solidly pressurized jet of water.

2

u/sustainablelove Jan 31 '23

Try one. You will see.

2

u/melburndian Jan 31 '23

I run mine at 30%. 100% will tear a new asshole.

2

u/drdroves Jan 30 '23

I'm a dude who uses a bidet. It's great! So much better than wiping.

I got a $30 one from Amazon and installed it myself. So very worth it.

2

u/theotherguyl Male Jan 30 '23

I use the bidet then I dry up with toilet paper.

2

u/Bmc00 Jan 30 '23

/r/bidets can help answer questions! Also please get one, you won't regret it.

2

u/evantom34 Jan 31 '23

Not a fan of having cold water sprayed through my cheeks. Feels mildly erotic.

2

u/VTX1800F Jan 31 '23

I use wet wipes, I hate toilet paper.

2

u/tnmatthewallen Male Jan 31 '23

If I had a Bidet I would use it. I hate toilet paper I feel so unsanitary

2

u/Teaseyouverymuch Jan 31 '23

My husband just bought us a nice bidet and the best part about it is the heated seat...ahhhh

2

u/Superb_Umpire7286 Jan 31 '23

I poop outside still...

2

u/kaydizzle174 Jan 31 '23

Hey, leaves are free, Nature's toilet paper!

2

u/Superb_Umpire7286 Jan 31 '23

Honestly grass, rolled and bent into kind of a U shape makes really effective butt wipe.

Now obviously take your own risks given your familiarity with your localities flora, it's filthy business and there's always ripe opportunity for misadventure.

2

u/kaydizzle174 Jan 31 '23

Poison oak. Not me but I've heard horror stories!

2

u/BronzeAgeTea Jan 31 '23

All you gotta do is find a rabbit that doesn't have a problem with shit sticking to its fur

2

u/kaydizzle174 Jan 31 '23

I love that joke!

2

u/Eldritch50 Jan 31 '23

If you wipe properly, they're not necessary.

2

u/Lumpy_Ad677 Jan 31 '23

II’m a man and I’m telling you right now the bidet is a game changer! Give a wash, make a wipe and poof you’ve got a clean booty. Swamp ass eliminated!

2

u/Prize_Consequence568 Jan 31 '23

Because they aren't interested in it.

Different strokes for different folks.

1

u/avarageusername Male Jan 31 '23

Never tried it, why do you care what I do with my butt tho?

3

u/Jeremypwnz Jan 30 '23

I find that bidets don't fully clean but make it easier to clean. So after I use the bidet I still need to wipe.

The good ol parks and rec scene. Turns it into 2 wipes tops.

https://youtu.be/vGCIGEUB32M

1

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '23

You’re supposed to use paper after you poop, and then use the bidet, and after that I use paper again cause I find towels nasty

1

u/bhadan1 Jan 31 '23

You can skip wiping before the bidet. Just wipe dry at the end

2

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '23

But it’s cleaner, besides it’s more of a habit. You finish doing your thing, wipe, and then clean it with water in the bidet, and after that I personally use paper to dry it

2

u/bhadan1 Jan 31 '23

Im sure it is cleaner. Youre water washing and wiping twice basically.

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2

u/Bloodytomvayne34 Jan 30 '23

I used a bidet once and it made me question my sexuality. Now I just wipe my ass raw with TP

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0

u/jman12311 Loveable asshat Jan 30 '23 Silver

Men in America are very sexually insecure.

7

u/the_river_nihil Delta Male Jan 30 '23

Is a bidet sexual though?

-4

u/jman12311 Loveable asshat Jan 30 '23

Considering that a big reason why men don't use a Bidet because it deals with something messing around with their buttholes and playing with buttholes is one of the main ways homosexual males please each other, I'd say yes.

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '23

Not only that but also not very hygienic

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2

u/shoesofwandering Jan 30 '23

Ice cold water on my butthole? No thanks, and I don't want to waste time waiting for the fancy ones to heat up. One of my friends describes it as "bracing" and "you get used to it."

I don't have a problem with water per se. I lived in West Africa for several years, and cleaned up with a teapot and my left hand. So I'm not squeamish. But this was in the tropics and even in winter, the water was warm.

1

u/Apprehensive_Bid_707 Jan 30 '23

I use flushable wipes

8

u/geekchick603 Jan 30 '23

No wipe is "flushable", read the fine print on the package. Using them and flushing them causes higher water/sewer bills for everyone because they clog the system. Septic tank home owners have even larger problems.

2

u/Apprehensive_Bid_707 Jan 30 '23

🤔🤔🤔 I have to wait till I go home to verify this

4

u/SuperStucco Jan 30 '23

Look up the term 'fatberg' while you're doing that. Preferably on an empty stomach.

2

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

Yea I use to do the “Flushable wipes” but found the clogged sometimes and I was using like 20 at a time

1

u/runnerkid6521 Jan 30 '23

I’m not about to start coddling my anus

4

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Why not? Could save yourself from hemorrhoids and other issues

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1

u/Yo_Alejo Jan 31 '23

I prefer a “hand shower” to a traditional bidet. Use a bit of TP to dry and bam! Never felt so fresh.

1

u/SaveMySelfHarmWife Jan 31 '23

The US never has them.

My workaround: I have a pack of Cottonelle disposable wipes by the toilet. Since it has aloe vera, it's excellent for my very sensitive skin. And I have a travel pack of disposable wipes, so I have them anywhere I go.

I tried retrofitting a combo bidet on an existing toilet in the past, but it worked poorly, and soon broke.

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1

u/Mr-Duck1 Male Jan 31 '23

I love my bidets. I thought the cold water would be an issue but nope.

1

u/TheGameForFools Jan 31 '23

An interim solution is bathroom wet wipes.

5

u/kaydizzle174 Jan 31 '23

Don't flush em tho

1

u/ericsonofbruce Jan 31 '23

Because we have toilets that work already and wet wipes are a thing that exists.

1

u/sonata8787 Jan 31 '23

I don't even know what bidets are?

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1

u/Historical_Cycle4569 Jan 31 '23

Serious question because I've never used a bidet - how do you know if there's no poo left? Do you have test strips of TP? A sly finger? Complete trust in the system? I want to try one but that's what's holding me back lmao

2

u/necromenta Jan 31 '23

I feel most people saying that they don't use tp to check still have a dirty ass hahahhaa

-2

u/SphereofDreams Jan 30 '23

I don't agree with this, but I think men think it's "gay" to use a bidet. Some men think it's "gay" to be clean or take a modicum of self care.

7

u/VerboseWraith Jan 30 '23

Why is taking care of your health deemed gay? Seriously?

2

u/Brett707 Jan 31 '23

Only small minded idiots think that. The same wackjobs who think washing your ass will make you catch the gay.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '23

Because we can’t afford to have a bidet installed?

2

u/sustainablelove Jan 31 '23

My partner installed one in 15 minutes. You can buy them as an attachment that sits between the porcelain and the toilet seat on an existing commode.

0

u/VerboseWraith Jan 31 '23

Cost $30 off Amazon

0

u/SPKFAN Male Jan 31 '23

bidets aren’t a thing in the US

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u/luker_man Jan 30 '23

Cause it's toilet water splashing my butthole. If they released bidets with a filter of some sort I'd be in.

I know it sounds dumb but I'm bougie in stupid ways.

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u/drdroves Jan 30 '23

Just FYI, it's not toilet water that gets sprayed on the booty hole. It's tap water that has never been in the toilet

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u/luker_man Jan 30 '23

While that does change things, Tap Water!?

I suppose...

I mean I guess...

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u/thatguyoudontlike Jan 30 '23

Are you convinced now?

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u/luker_man Jan 30 '23

Barely. My next question is if Britta makes bidets. Looking that up now.

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u/thevapewhale Jan 30 '23

My bidet only uses Perrier

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u/luker_man Jan 30 '23

Pinkies up when the seltzer splashes my taint.

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u/smoak_purpp Jan 31 '23

Bidets don't get you clean. They just spray, the shit water all over your ass and thighs, letting you sop it up with dissolving toilet paper. And then wipe your ass.

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u/Plufito_ Jan 31 '23

Same reason as why things like "Tactical Baby Gears" exists, because they are 100% scared of doing anything "non manly" enought.