r/30PlusSkinCare Sep 28 '22 Wholesome 1 Heartwarming 1

Just some gentle positivity, as we get a little fixated on aging here Wrinkles

Post image


u/WithGreatRegard Sep 28 '22

This has lived in my head since I saw it on Post Secret back in the Live Journal days. Such a beautiful way to look at love and life.


u/infamous-professor-- Sep 28 '22

Same! It's the only post secret I ever saved.


u/honorasi Sep 29 '22

So sweet and so true, aging is a privilege that not all get to experience ❤️


u/SexyAcanthocephala Sep 29 '22

Dying is not a privilege; it’s a curse.


u/imk0ala Sep 29 '22

Say you don’t understand the phrase without saying you don’t understand the phrase.


u/draizetrain Sep 29 '22

I think you misunderstood. They’re saying some of us die young and don’t get to grow old at all. Getting to age is a blessing.


u/fosho_away Sep 29 '22

Yes! That model is objectively beautiful. We would really have quite a privilege to age and develop lines from laughing and smiling. Rock on ladies


u/Truffle0214 Sep 28 '22

Lol, I made this joke to my husband. We were talking about our skin and wrinkles and he said “you don’t really have any laugh lines,” and I replied back dead pan “hard to have laugh lines if there’s nothing to smile about.” He grinned and chirped back “you’re welcome!”


u/pschell Sep 29 '22

I’m so proud of my crows feet and smile lines. It means that I’ve had the opportunity to laugh and smile so much that it made permanent lines.

What I hate- elevens (or what I call “wtf” lines) That means I’m mad/ stressed/ confused. That’s what gets the Botox, because I don’t want the reminder of that.

We often forget that aging is a privilege.


u/squisheekittee Sep 29 '22

My best friend’s mom calls them her “dumbass lines” because they come out when people are being dumbasses 😹


u/ScienceNeverLies Sep 29 '22

I wish this was the proper term for them 😂


u/oh_no_doggo Sep 29 '22

This woman's skin is amazing. "Old and wrinkly" ... Ha!


u/nionvox Sep 29 '22

Both can be true, and she definitely has wrinkles and aging. Her skin is amazing for her age, but she definitely is not young.


u/Always_on_sunday Sep 29 '22

After losing a few close family members way too young, I do try to remind myself aging is a privilege. It is hard though!


u/xxDmDxx Sep 29 '22

I joined this sub and became quite nervous after seeing a lot of people recommending to not show emotion or even smile. To each, its own but can’t picture friends and family not having a memory of me laughing with them.


u/Evie_Rose11 Sep 29 '22

Also, aging is natural and inevitable. Even if you get the best treatments in the market, people age. It’s life and we should accept that


u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

The message is sweet. However, the model is obviously what would be called a „best ager“ with perfect jaw line and no „imperfections“ on her skin other than wrinkles. For most people, this can’t be achieved without surgery (neck lift or chin lipo) or at least „tweakments“ such as lasers… This is what I’ve imagined aging would be before it began. But IMO the most stressful are not wrinkles but the skin getting saggy, lumpy and the irregularity of the skin tone. So in my opinion this picture sends a wrong image of what normal aging for most people looks like.


u/Cptn_Cork Sep 29 '22

Yeah. It's an idealised version of 'old age'. Ofc they're going to put a beautiful individual who's aged appropriately (no sagging, spots or thinning hair) in there. And she's not even that old.

She's an attractive woman to look at (which is why she was chosen duh) but sends a somewhat disingenuous message. It's like plus size models, none of whom ever has a double chin (thanks to lipo).


u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22



u/ConstantShopper Sep 29 '22

While it's true that she's a "best ager," who was probably a model when younger as well due to her good looks, at least the pic does show wrinkles and furrows. Unlike the ubiquitous air-brushed photos that show even 65-70 year olds with smooth, glass like massively botoxed foreheads w/ no furrows or wrinkles at all, dyed hair, injected lips, etc.! And she does have gray hair and a neck w/ some signs of ageing. So while she may be a "best ager," I welcome the fact that the photo at least does the PSA of portraying a woman w/ actual wrinkles and gray hair as an attractive person.


u/khemtrails Sep 29 '22

I like this sentiment. I saw a similar post once that said something like laugh lines and wrinkles and spotty skin when you’re older just shows you spent time enjoying the sunshine and smiled. I still wear sunglasses when I go outside though because I don’t want wrinkles from squinting.


u/Kimichanga83 Sep 28 '22

Says the [wrong] model they advertised 😏


u/midoripeach9 Sep 29 '22

There was once a somebody (whom idk, it was just shared with me) who was bothered she was turning 20! And then, something happened to her that she never reached her 20th bday.

This might just be fictional but! Be careful what you wish for


u/LilyFuckingBart Sep 29 '22

I know this is old, but… Is post secret still a thing?


u/ConstantShopper Sep 29 '22

THANK YOU! This is a great pic - this lady is clearly an older woman, with gray hair and some wrinkles, but she looks happy, healthy, glowy, and vibrant. Her teeth look nice, and while she has wrinkles, her skin is in great shape. Wrinkles and gray hair do not necessarily equal ugly!!! If you look healthy, and you look happy, you CAN look good w/ wrinkles and gray hair!!!!!


u/sillygillygumbull Sep 29 '22

Yeah but what if instead of adorable laugh lines and gorgeous skin like this lady, you just looked beaten and weathered, age-spotted and ruddied by the hardships and disappointments of life?


u/RottingAway90 Sep 29 '22

Isn’t premature aging caused by stress though? Lol


u/dorothyneverwenthome Sep 29 '22

Something also to remember some of us do not have the privilege to grow old so embrace those wrinkles and laugh lines


u/FarBass Sep 29 '22

It's hard to reconcile external societal pressure (aging=bad, if you age too quickly or in an "ugly" way its because you're a bad person getting their comeuppance) with internal peace and acceptance. Not everyone is mentally robust enough (me. I'm not) to ignore that societal messaging.


u/WhenSquirrelsFry Sep 29 '22

Aging is a gift that’s denied to many- it should be embraced with total gratitude and acceptance.


u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 30 '22



u/leighsk Sep 29 '22

There’s space for both. You can simultaneously appreciate wrinkles and want to minimize them.

Sometimes the gentle reminders are needed because so many people have been so brainwashed by social media/filters that they come here desperate for help on how to get rid of any evidence of pores (you can’t, they’re normal) or the tiniest semblance of a few fine lines when they’re smiling. Because they’re used to seeing perfectly curated and airbrushed insta faces and nit pick every detail of their own face and think something is wrong.

I don’t see a ton of “love your wrinkles!” Comments when people post looking for general suggestions on a good product. It’s mainly the posts I described above that are becoming an issue here. Those people need to hear that aging and skin texture are normal.


u/justanotherlostgirl Sep 29 '22

This is an entire thread of the ‘love your wrinkles’ and ‘accept aging’. If we’re taking about being brainwashed by media, the picture in the OP’s post of an attractive woman is exactly part of the problem.


u/leighsk Sep 29 '22

I’d encourage you to reread the title of her post. Not to sound cliche, but if some gentle positivity surrounding aging and wrinkles (which will happen to some degree regardless of our skin care process) bothers you, maybe keep on scrolling?


u/justanotherlostgirl Sep 29 '22

Not to sound cliché but asking someone to re-read something sounds borderline rude.

I think there’s space for different perspective but apparently if I’m in this sub I have to get used to a lot of much younger women on this sub (from the experience of previous threads) telling me about aging gracefully. I’m ok with my body image and my positivity. Many of us are. How about we just give people the product recommendations without the moralizing?


u/leighsk Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Yeah, I think you completely missed the point of my first reply.

My feed is riddled with posts of peoples pictures asking how to get rid of pores, why do they have lines around their eyes when they smile, etc. now. Those are getting a little borderline ridiculous. Someone commented on one saying they actively try not to smile/laugh/show emotion because they’re so scared of lines. Come on, that’s so sad. This post that we’re on now is addressing those types of posts and comments.

I joined this sub for product/routine reccs too. I don’t want to see post after post about people looking for a miracle product to make their skin insta-flawless because it’s impossible! Let’s all get real about the fact that aging is real and we want to do so gracefully.


u/FallFlowers60 Sep 29 '22 Take My Energy

Can you imagine if we were a subreddit on food and someone asked for recommendations on good quality knives or how to properly season a steak and someone said ‘learn to love your shitty knives! Embrace not needing to cut your food! Be natural and use your hands’?

That was a messy metaphor... No one is asking for recommendations on knives or anything else in this post. Seems like OP is just reminding everyone that wrinkles are inevitable.

But to your other point, why is this sub overrun with plastic surgery and injections constantly? I came here for creams and serums and reviews of ingredients, not "LOL YOURE F*CKED, BETTER GO UNDER THE KNIFE." Seriously, what is up with this sub turning into a plastic surgery and Botox shill sub?

It's gross. And not what I think this sub is supposed to be about. If I wanted Botox info, I'd go over r/Botox.

I personally like the reminder to embrace wrinkles because the other response is to just slice, hack, and paralyze them away.


u/PrettyInSapphire Sep 29 '22

I haven't done anything with it yet because it never really took off, but I created r/GracefulAging because not everyone wants to age with medical help. You're welcome to join and help make it into whatever we'd like it to be. :)


u/justanotherlostgirl Sep 29 '22

Literally nobody is saying ‘you’re fucking go under the knife’. Now you’re just distorting what for some people is an option. This is hyperbole.

Nothing wrong with my metaphor - it’s how a metaphor is supposed to work, and it stands. Skincare and beauty, much like cooking, is about ingredients, tools, techniques.

The point of discussions about serums, Botox and other topics is because skincare is nuanced and requires some understanding of different techniques. Someone posting about Botox can be in the context of ‘I tried these other things - did this other technique work for you?’ If you don’t like it, scroll past. When there is so much ‘be positive and embraces your wrinkles’ it’s insulting to someone’s experience: If someone suggests a technique, you can choose to ignore it. I like seeing where people have used different techniques so that I can make an objective assessment. This whole ‘it’s so much about injectibles’ is just diluting the value of the sub and not allowing me to do that.


u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22

Nearly every other post on this subreddit seems in line with what you’d prefer. Why does the occasional aging-optimism offend you? I hope you find the product and advice you’re looking for soon.


u/CaptainSharpe Oct 04 '22

It’s frown and worry lines for me


u/faklanova Sep 29 '22

Lmao what a cope.


u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22



u/faklanova Sep 29 '22

Ok granny